It Is What It Is
by silverhelix428
Summary: Despite all the bad he's done, I love him. Sometimes." A few words and a spark of conscience change everything. What if, in The Real Paul Anka, Rory decided to go back and propery apologize to Jess? A confrontation leads to friendship... and maybe more?
1. Paul Anka Redux

Title- It Is What It Is  
Author- Victoria  
Rating- T  
Summary- "Despite all the bad he's done, I love him. Sometimes." A few words and a moment of conscience change everything. What if, in The Real Paul Anka, Rory decided to go back and properly apologize to Jess?

A/N- It's been done before. I know it's been done before. But I can't help it. It was Milo's last appearance on the show, and it was the best chance for them to work out and that *idiot* blew it! What was she thinking? If I had my way, Amy Sherman-Palladino would be completely remaking the show, and this time Jess would get the girl!

* * *

"You know, you don't have to read it again," Jess said, pulling a stool up to sit in front of her... perhaps a little closer than Rory would have liked. No, that wasn't really right, because even now, considering as she was the prospects for revenge that being here presented, there was nothing awkward about this meeting. There should have been. But that was the way it had always been with Jess.

She smiled. "I know I don't. But I've read it so many times already, what's one more?"

He looked surprised, and undeniably pleased. However, he said, "There's _so_ many things I would change in it."

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the book, that much she knew. "Like what?" she demanded.

He smirked. Predictably. "Eh... the back cover? Everything else goes."

"You know why I love your book?"

"Why?"

"It doesn't remind me of anything. It's not a ripoff. It's just you." Absolute truth, spoken with conviction. It felt strange to her, as if the truth had somehow become an uncomfortable relative rather than the close friend it ought to be. Very briefly she wondered why. But then Jess was speaking again, and she dedicated her full attention to him.

"High praise, Miss Yale Editor," he said with a grin: not his trademark sarcastic smirk, but a genuine, open grin. Back in high school, it was a look she'd seen only every once in awhile, on the rarest of occasions. But over the course of the few hours she'd been here, it had been on his face practically every other time she looked at him. There was no doubt about it- Jess had changed.

She shrugged, blushing a little at his subtle compliment. "I don't get to write as much as I would like," she confessed. "I'm mostly assigning and motivating, handholding, rewriting--"

"Yeah, and you love it. C'mon, tell me you don't love it," he insisted.

As always, he practically knew what she was thinking. "I do," she admitted. "I do love it. It's exciting."

The fact was, this new Jess scared her a little bit. It was as though their roles had been reversed- he was the successful one, the one whose life was on track. She was the mess. Yes, she'd gotten back on track after their last encounter. But back on her feet? Lately, she really wasn't sure. Things with Logan were shaky at best, and it made the whole rest of her life feel unstable. She didn't like this feeling. But she did like being here, just being with Jess. Quite a lot, probably too much. That was what scared her.

"Yeah," he said, and though his smile remained in place, his coffee-colored eyes took on a more serious look. "You look happier than the last time I saw you."

She nodded. "I am."

"So... you fixed everything?"

Rory knew what "everything" meant. "Everything" was not just Yale and her mother. "Everything" also included Logan. And "everything" wasn't fixed. She didn't understand what was broken in their relationship- no, that wasn't true, she did, but there was nothing she could do about the past- but it was still hanging there, and if she told Jess the truth, she was outright lying to him.

"Yeah," she said, making sure her expression stayed even. "Everything's fixed."

There was that smile again. "I'm glad you're here," he said softly.

She nodded. "Yeah, me too."

And then- Rory wasn't really sure how it happened- he was kissing her. And it was electric. A thousand times better than she remembered. God, she had missed this...

That, in the end, was what brought her back to reality only seconds later. She couldn't do this, because it was _right_. It felt too good to be the right thing to do, and she just couldn't hurt Logan this way. Jess was... she didn't know what Jess was. He was all the best parts of him that she had always seen beneath the angry teenager, and all the bad parts had been stripped away by time, and somehow she just couldn't encompass any of this. Somehow, she knew that if she let him keep kissing her, she would never be able to make him stop, and then when it all blew up in her face like she knew it would Jess would be mad and Logan would be mad and things would be uncomfortable and Jess would be so hurt and everything would get bad again and she just couldn't!

Rory pulled away. "What?" he asked, his voice a little hazy. She stood up quickly to put as much space between them as possible. "I'm sorry," she said hurriedly.

"About what?" he asked.

She sighed. "Uh, about coming here, like this. I just got the flyer and, I dunno, I just wanted to see your place but then, this... It's not fair to you. I'm such a jerk!"

"Look, I-I don't know what you're talking about!"

"God, I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me," she said, avoiding his eyes in self-reproach... though she wasn't sure if it was for her attempt at cheating or her failure to carry through with it.

When she looked back at him, she was amazed to see that the first reaction that showed in his eyes wasn't anger that she was using him, but concern. That only made the idea feel even worse than it already did. "Who? Who cheated on you?" he demanded. "That _guy_?" And then it clicked. "You're still with him. I thought everything was fixed." Now she could see the anger, starting to bubble up in him as the realization sank in. She had thought that that would be better than the concern, that his anger would somehow absolve her, but it didn't. It only made it worse, because she was hurting him. Again. All this time, it seemed, he had been waiting for her, and she finally came to him, but it was only to use him. What kind of despicable low-life was she?

"Everything but him," she said sadly.

"I hate this!" he exclaimed.

She sighed. "You should, I'm sorry."

"You came here- alone. To Philadelphia!"

"He was out of town." It had sounded good in her head, but the second the words were out of her mouth, Rory immediately wanted to stuff them back in again. How was this possible? She was _still_ being insensitive, despite the little voice in the back of her head screaming at her to be kind to him, that she'd just shot him down again.

This was driven home when he looked at her with a steely glare and said, "I don't deserve this, Rory."

She held up her hands in an attempt to placate him. "No, you don't. You don't deserve it. I just... I'm in love with him." The words felt hollow, though she knew that they were true. Right? "Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it. I'm in love with him. Sometimes."

It had just slipped out, but she was sure now that she'd said it that it was true. She did love Logan... sometimes. He was good for her... sometimes. The times that weren't sometimes, he was getting her arrested. Cheating on her. Making her feel uncomfortable and unloved. But the good times were so good, wasn't that what relationships were all about? Compromise? Taking the good as well as the bad?

Jess was nodding, tight-lipped and clearly furious, but to his extreme credit, he didn't lash out as he would have not all that long ago. Instead, he simply replied, "Huh."

"I mean... sometimes he does stupid things and I hate him, but he's just... I don't know..." she trailed away lamely.

He snorted. "Maybe you should talk to Matt's poet. Have him explain love to you. Poets know all about it, right?"

"Supposed to," she muttered. After a pause, she said, "I should go. I'm so sorry I came here."

"Ah, I'm not," he said. "It is what it is: you, me." He shook his head, sighing.

And that, she realized, was the sum of their entire relationship. Or at least, how it should have been. She wondered, not for the first time, what things might have been like if she hadn't kept continually dragging the outside world into their relationship. No matter what happened, she had always kept putting things in his way, keeping him at arm's length when it seemed all he really wanted was to get closer.

"Where'd you park?"

"Oh, I'm right outside."

She hurried for the door, wanting to get out of this tense situation and escape the sudden upsurge of impossible, long-buried emotions it was bringing to the surface. But just as she reached the exit, he called after her. "Hey, if, uh, if it makes you feel better you can always tell him we did... something."

Rory felt her breath catch on tears. God, he was being so sweet when she was the one who had come back into his life and hurt him once more... He had always been sweet to her. Even when he'd been a jerk to everyone else, he'd always been good to her. Why did he have to make it so hard to leave and close the book on him forever? "Thanks, Jess," she mumbled, feeling her eyes welling up. And then she fled Truncheon, hurrying outside before she could do something she'd regret.

She reached her car and got inside and put the keys in the ignition. But she didn't turn the car on. What was she doing? This wasn't just some random one-night stand from a bar. If it had been, she was sure she'd feel less guilty than she did over a mere kiss. And the worst of it was, she didn't feel guilty because of what this would do to Logan, because Logan, she was sure, could take it.

No, it was Jess she was concerned about. She'd seen him three- technically four- times since he'd run from her. The first two times, he had professed his love for her in no uncertain terms, and she had shut him down from her determination to move on (not that she'd been particularly successful). Immediately after, she'd made one of the worst decisions of her life, maybe more out of confusion and the desire to feel anything beyond her latent feelings for _him_ than anything. The third time, when he'd come to her after she dropped out of Yale, she'd thought he'd finally moved on, as she (hoped she) had. And that time, he had saved her.

Maybe she would have found a way to get her life back together without his push in the right direction, but she would undoubtedly have done many more stupid things before then. He had fixed everything for her, with just a few words. And if tonight's events were any indication, he still cared about her deeply. Even if he hadn't kissed her, the look of absolute delight on his face when he saw her standing in the doorway should have been a dead giveaway. He had been elated, overjoyed, and about a million other similar adjectives, and she had gone and completely ruined it all for him. And to make it worse, she had walked out of there with only a barely adequate apology.

No, not "barely adequate." Totally inappropriate. She couldn't do this to him. She couldn't leave without explaining how truly, truly sorry she was about causing him any more pain than they'd already been through.

Decision made, she pulled the keys out of the engine and, after wiping away the stains from the moisture that had leaked out of her eyes while she mulled it over, hurried back up to the doors of Truncheon.

She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting to find inside. What she did discover was an overturned desk, papers strewn across the floor and a stack of books that had been scattered when the piece of furniture was attacked. A soft sound from the corner made her look around.

Jess was sitting on the floor in the far corner, one leg sprawled out in front of him, the other hugged up close to his chest. Tears streamed down his face and though he wiped at his eyes hurriedly when he saw her, it didn't do much good. He was the picture of a broken man, and she spied a neat, fist-sized dent in the plaster above his head.

Rory was stunned to see him crying, and for a moment, she was locked to the spot. Then, as her petrification passed, she half-sprinted across the publishing house/bookstore and knelt next to him.

"Oh god, Jess, I'm sorry," she said. "I- I don't know what I was thinking, coming here. I shouldn't have, not when I was so frustrated with my relationship, but I wanted to see you so much and I didn't actually think about what it would do to you at all, and Jess, I'm so, _so_ sorry and I understand that you probably want me to leave and I should have left but I just couldn't without telling you that it was stupid, you mean too much to me to want to hurt you and--"

"Rory, you're babbling," he said bitterly, continuing to scrub ineffectually at his eyes.

She smiled, but it was half-hearted and her own eyes were starting to look a little bright again. She swallowed against the sudden painful sensation in her throat. "I do that," she said. "It's just... I can't stand the idea of hurting you this much."

"So why did you do it?" he asked. He didn't sound bitter or angry anymore. Now he just sounded very, very tired, and the resignation and painful acceptance in his voice was too much for her and she completely broke down.

"I don't know," she said, teardrops slipping down her cheeks. "I'm an idiot. Why do I always do this to you?"

"Because I mess up and put you in positions where you can?" he offered, not looking at her.

"Maybe that's part of it," she conceded, "But it's not your fault that I'm scared."

Finally, he glanced over at her. "Scared of what?" he demanded.

"That's just it," she said, trying hard not to start sobbing unintelligibly. "I don't know. Every time I see you, it's like no time at all has passed, and I don't understand why, and that terrifies me. And I always end up making such huge mistakes after you're out of my life again. Except last time. Last time you fixed _everything_, and look how I repaid you!"

His shoulders sagged, but he looked a little less broken now. "Apparently I didn't fix everything."

"No," she said, "but I should have. Logan is... he makes me feel so alive. But he also makes me so insecure about so many things, and I know he's not good for me- I mean, I stole a yacht! Me! Stealing boats!- I know he's not good for me, but I can't figure out how to walk away because I just don't know how to hurt him like that!"

Jess leaned his head back against the wall with a heavy thump. "I don't know, Rory," he said. "I just don't know." After a slight pause, during which he wiped once again at his bloodshot eyes, he gave a humorless bark of laughter. "Jeez, how did we end up like this? Both of us crying our eyes out on the floor?"

"You know, I've never seen you cry before," she remarked.

He shrugged. "You've never _seen_ me cry," he said. "That doesn't mean I didn't. Don't. Whatever." Rory very nearly lost what little self-control she had at that. The idea of Jess being this upset _ever_ was infinitely distressing to her. Gingerly, she touched his hand and gave him a pathetic estimation of a smile.

"So... what now?" he asked.

Rory shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I have... well, even if I hadn't come here, I'd have had a lot of stuff to figure out, but seeing you adds a whole new level of complication to it all. Always did, I guess. You were wrong- it's not just "it is what it is." There's you and me, and even as friends we're never simple. But Jess, I'm in such a weird place right now. It's like I'm in limbo."

Fresh tears leaked from beneath her lashes, and almost instinctively, Jess reached up to brush them away with his thumb. "I hate seeing you like this," he said quietly.

"I don't think either of us is in really great shape right now," she said, a slightly hysterical edge to her voice.

He nodded, a sad smile on his face. "Not really. But, listen, you've got issues to sort out. Go home. Figure it all out."

Rory agreed and stood up. She offered her hand to him, and pulled him to his feet as well. "Thanks, Jess," she said. "You've been so understanding about all my craziness. It's better than I deserve."

"Yeah," he said. After a brief moment of uncomfortable silence, he held out his arms and she flew into his embrace, hugging him tightly. A few seconds later, she released him and hurried toward the door. "Hey, Rory!" he called after her. She stopped in her tracks, turning to face him. "Keep in contact, okay?" he asked. "I... I want you in my life, in any way I can. You know?"

She smiled. "Sure. We can be friends, at least. There will be issues, I guess, but there always are."

He nodded. "We always did make good friends."

"We did."

"So... I'll see you around?"

Rory confirmed it, and walked once more out of Truncheon Books. But this time, she didn't feel like something was ending in the worst way possible. She felt like something was beginning. And despite her misgivings and all the complications it was sure to bring, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she was finally finding solid ground in all the confusion that had been surrounding her for the last few months.

* * *

TBC...  
IDK when. Hopefully soon. Reviews may help this process.


	2. Aftermath

**A/N-** The Authoress wishes to thank _missmissa85_ for her awesome role as First Reviewer Ever for my First Multichapter GG Fic Ever!

And she also wishes to state that she got this updated MUCH quicker than expected!

* * *

It was past midnight when Chris and Matthew finally arrived back at the apartment above Truncheon, but Jess was still wide awake and pacing.

"Dude, you look like shit," Matt exclaimed. It was true. Jess's hair was sticking up at strange angles and his eyes were still bloodshot. He shot a glare at his friends and returned to his restless motion around the cluttered living room. "So, what, instead of coming out drinking with us, you decided to break into my private whiskey stash or what?"

Chris rammed an elbow into Matt's ribs. While the poet-wrangler was rubbing his side and attempting to give Chris a menacing look, Chris said, "So, was that her?"

If Jess's earlier look had been dangerous, the scowl he now turned in his friends' direction might actually have melted metal. "Was that who?" he asked roughly, hurling himself down onto the threadbare old sofa.

"Was that the girl?" Chris asked, plopping down beside him with a cheeky smile. "The one whose photo you carry around in your pocket? The one we have to get you six kinds of wasted to even talk about? The reason you haven't been in a serious relationship... ever?"

His only reply was to grumble, "How the fuck did you know about the picture?"

Chris was still grinning. "Matt doesn't really get the concept of personal privacy. He lifted your wallet, found the picture." Jess looked ready to murder his coworker. "So, seriously, that's her?"

Jess relented. "Yeah. That's Rory."

Matt hesitantly filled the other seat on the sofa, so that Jess was trapped between them. "So what happened after we left?"

"Jeez, you two are like a couple of old ladies!" Jess cried. "Worse- a couple of old ladies from Stars Hollow! Look, I'm tired as hell and I've had a really, really bad night, so if you'd kindly shut up until my head stops throbbing, say a couple of weeks or so, that'd be great."

Matthew raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Whoa. Okay then. Take some knock-me-out pills and lock yourself in your room until Happy Jess decides to come out again, 'kay?"

"Screw you," Jess muttered, rising from the sofa and disappearing. A few seconds later, they heard the slam of his bedroom door.

Chris shook his head. "You probably shouldn't mess with him, man. Unless I am _very_ much deceived, the infamous Rory Gilmore did plenty of that already."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

It was too late to drive back home tonight. After a few hours of shamelessly expanding her carbon footprint by driving aimlessly around Philadelphia, Rory checked into a hotel. For some time, she tried to fall asleep, but her mind was still whirling, still confused. Her emotions were a confused melting pot of unspoken things and feelings she'd hoped she'd finally left behind.

With a groan, she sat up and reached for her cell phone. Hurriedly, she punched in the very first number on her speed dial and waited. One ring... two rings... three...

At last, Lorelai answered the phone. "H'llo?" she mumbled.

"Mom," Rory said in a shaky voice.

"Sweetie, um, it's almost two in the morning and, uh, Mommy needs her sleep--"

"Yeah, Mom, I know, but I really, _really_ need to talk to someone right now."

Rory's urgent tone seemed to get through to the elder Gilmore, and she was instantly as awake as it was possible to be sans intravenous caffeine. "Rory? What is it? What happened? Did Logan... did you guys have a fight?"

She shook her head. "No, it's nothing like that. Logan's off I don't know where diving off a cliff or... I don't know. But Mom, I... I'm in Philadelphia."

"Why?"

"Well, Logan was out of town and I got this flyer in the mail for--"

"No, why is he diving off a cliff?"

Rory sighed. "Some Life and Death Brigade thing. I told him it was stupid and dangerous, but he wouldn't listen to me. But that's not the point. Mom, I'm in Philadelphia."

"So, did you happen to run into Luke? He and April were--"

"Yeah, I saw them, met April. I ran into them at Jess's place."

Lorelai was dead silent for several seconds. "Jess?" she finally asked cautiously. "Oh sweetie, what happened?"

"It... I... I don't really know why I went in the first place," Rory said. "I guess I just wanted to see how he was doing, see his place. But, see, Logan cheated on me, at Honor's wedding. And we've gotten past that. Sort of. I don't know. But I guess in the back of my mind, there was just this anger rattling around, you know? And maybe in the back of my head there was this thought that maybe--"

"Maybe Jess was the person to take revenge with?" Lorelai intuited. "Oh, Rory!"

The young editor sighed. "I know, it was stupid and it was horrible and I don't know what I was thinking. But I made it seem like I was single and I spent the entire afternoon there, and Mom, it was so amazing! Jess has grown up so much, he's got this great life now. And I just walked in and... and... After everybody else had left, we were just sitting there, talking, and he kissed me. But I stopped him, I told him about Logan cheating on me. He was so good about it, he barely even got angry. He even told me I could tell Logan we did something, if I thought it would help. But the whole time, I was just thinking about how good of a kisser he is and how monumentally screwed up my personal life is right now, and I just... I left."

"Ror..." Lorelai began, but Rory interrupted.

"No, that's not all. After I left, I realized how horrible I'd been and I decided to go back in and apologize. And he was crying! He was just sitting there on the floor crying, and it was so awful to see him like that. How could I do that to him? He's become the incredible person I always thought he'd be, and I just broke him down without even thinking about it! We talked and decided to stay in contact, and now I don't know what to do or what to think or what to feel!"

Once again, Lorelai was slow to reply. "Wow," she said eventually. "That's... Honey, that's kind of a lot to take in."

"I know. What do I do?"

"Rory, you know nobody can decide what's best for you but you, as much as I wish I could."

Her daughter smiled. "But can't you try?"

"I'm plenty of things; I'm not a miracle worker."

"Ah! Mean!" Rory exclaimed.

On the other end of the line, Lorelai smirked. "So are you!"

"Am not!"

"Okay, fine, you're still the nicest kid in the world. But, Sweetie, I really can't tell you what to do here."

"Do I sense a "but" coming on?"

Lorelai sighed. "Look, Rory, I was never Jess's biggest fan, I'll admit that. I guess I was worried that he would get you in trouble." Rory started to protest, but Lorelai spoke over her. "No, hear me out. I was never Jess's biggest fan, but as much as I was concerned about your relationship with him, it seems to have been completely unfounded. And Logan... well, I'm not going to lie to you, Rory. You've been different ever since you started seeing him. And I don't just mean the yacht-stealing and the dropping-out-of-Yale and the living-with-Mr. and Mrs. Stalin. You just don't seem quite like yourself."

"What are you saying?" Rory asked.

Her mother shrugged. "Sweetie, I don't like Logan very much. He's charming and fun and definitely loaded, but I just don't think he's good for you, especially now that I know he's been cheating. But that's just my opinion, and I don't want you to do anything rash just because of that. God knows, I'm not the best person to ask for romance advice."

"You've got Luke, haven't you?"

"Well, yes, but it took us forever to get there."

Now that she had Lorelai's (highly biased) opinion, Rory was glad to steer the conversation away from herself. "So... how are things with you and Luke?"

"Great!" Lorelai said. Anyone could tell that it wasn't entirely accurate.

"That didn't sound very great-like."

"What is "great" supposed to sound like?"

"I don't know. Like chocolate and coffee all mixed together?"

"Mm, coffee..." Lorelai murmured.

"Mom, focus!"

"Loin Fruit! Don't interrupt my caffeine daydream!"

"Okay fine, I'm hanging up now..." Rory threatened.

"No, Rory! Sorry, okay, undivided attention is back."

"Good. So what's up with you and Luke? Is it the whole weird April situation?"

Lorelai sighed. "That would make anything complicated, Rory. My fiancé has a kid, a kid he didn't even know about until recently. Who wouldn't be a little freaked out by that?"

"Well, if it helps, she's a really great kid. She's really smart and she takes things way too literally. All she needs is some education on how to properly mock Tim Burton and she'll be like a second daughter to you, I promise."

"Wow, you got all that from one conversation?"

Rory smiled. "Being the editor of the paper has given me a keen eye of observation. And don't worry, I'm sure you and Luke will work it out. It'll all be fine."

Lorelai flopped back onto the bed. "I sure hope you're right, kid."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Jess lay on his back, still fully clothed, staring at the brown water stain on the ceiling. God, how had he gotten to this point? It was absolutely pathetic. But he always had been where Rory Gilmore was involved.

The entire day had been excellent. He had finally had the opportunity to cement his friendship with his uncle (not to mention paying him back for everything he'd given Jess when all Jess had done in return was act like a self-centered jerk), and met his cousin, and the open house had been a smashing success, despite Matthew's poet issue. And with Rory there... well, Jess would have been lying if he'd said it hadn't made everything a thousand times better, having her there.

And then she'd stayed, long after everyone else had left, and Jess had thought... He didn't know what he'd thought. Maybe that she'd finally come to her senses, that his years of pining- yeah, at last he was able to admit it to himself, he'd been pining- were finally going to come to something. And it turned out that she was just using him to get revenge on that Yale dick. She had walked out the door and he had let her. But she had come back.

It had been fully mortifying when she walked in and found him in that state. He hadn't expected her to come back into Truncheon after that. In fact, he had been fairly sure that he would never see her again after that... and that, if he was honest with himself, was what had made him lose it in the first place. He had been perfectly happy with being furious with her and overturning the desk to vent his frustration. But when it occurred to him that he might never see her again, in _any_ capacity, it had been too terrifying to even contemplate, and he had broken down.

They were in a weird place now. Friends, he supposed. There would be problems getting comfortable with each other, after everything they'd put each other through. But they were friends. Jess could accept that. There were some things she'd said though, when she sat down on the floor and cried with him (Jess still couldn't entirely believe that entire strange conversation had even happened), that made him wonder just exactly what she was thinking.

_"I wanted to see you so much..."  
"Every time I see you, it's like no time at all has passed..."  
"There's you and me, and even as friends we're never simple."_

Maybe he was over-thinking it, putting too much emphasis on little things that probably, to her, were insignificant. But he couldn't help but be hopeful. He needed some hope after the emotional roller coaster he'd been on today. Clearly, Rory was unhappy in her current relationship, and as furious as he _wanted_ to be with her, the lost look on her face as she'd tried to explain the complexity of her feelings for the Logan guy made it impossible. She hadn't been wrong when she said she was in limbo. It seemed like she was caught halfway between the sparkling girl he'd fallen in love so long ago and the shell of her that he had found in Hartford recently.

It definitely was a weird place they were in. If he was honest right now, he wanted nothing more than to just call her right now and try to work through it. He had never been one for talking, but this was Rory. But even so, it was still too soon. He needed time to process, and god knows she would as well.

Finally, after several hours of tossing and turning, Jess finally drifted into an uneasy sleep...

* * *

TBC...  
Soon. I hope. Reviews?


	3. The Breakup That Wasn't?

**A/N-** Hey, yeah, new update! And so soon, too! Crazy, right? I never update this fast! And I should be working on my Heroes WIP, but this is eating my brain as I'm in a very Literati mood. Anyway, I'm being kind of flexible with the timeline here, but other than that I hope to stick as close to "AU canon" as possible, m'kay?

I also am kind of insecure about this chapter, because the conversation between Rory and Lane seems too similar to the conversation between Rory and Lorelai. I guess my only excuse is that Rory's in a very confused place, and in typical Rory fashion, she wants to be as objective as possible about her situation, and so she's fishing for opinions.

* * *

_Three Days Later..._

"I still can't believe you're getting married!" Rory exclaimed, dropping down beside her best friend on the sofa in the living room of the Gilmore house and handing her a mug of coffee.

Lane smiled widely. "I know," she said, bouncing her legs up and down excitedly. "Sometimes even I can't believe it!"

"You guys are gonna be so happy," Rory said. Unfortunately, the thought of the impending nuptials brought up thoughts of Honor's wedding, which lead to thoughts of Logan. Which lead to thoughts of cheating and discomfort and tense relations and revenge and... Jess...

Rory thought she had kept the contents of her mind off her face, but Lane had apparently known her for far too long because she caught the tiny hitch in Rory's smile. "What?" she demanded. "What's wrong?"

Trying to delay, Rory took a sip of her coffee. "It's really kind of complicated," she hedged.

Lane raised an eyebrow. "Rory, I've known you since kindergarten, and I grew up with my mother. I can handle complicated."

"You shouldn't have to deal with the insanity of my personal life," Rory insisted. "Not three days before your wedding! I can sort out my own issues." The young Korean woman just leaned back against the back of the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her and waiting with a patented look of "I'm waiting" painted across her face. After several seconds of the ensuing silence, Rory caved. "Fine. I'm just going through a rough patch with Logan, and I guess... I'm starting to wonder whether him and I is worth it."

"Wow," Lane said. "Where did this come from all of a sudden? I thought you two were good again?"

Rory shook her head. "Yeah, so did I. But I guess there was all this latent anger that I couldn't get past."

"Rough. So what are you going to do about it?"

"Couldn't tell you. But lately I've just been... very conflicted. I'm not sure what I want, and until I figure that out, I'm not going to make a decision."

Lane nodded sagely. "That's why you came back to Stars Hollow," she stated.

"Yep. Best place in the world for thinking things through."

"I was beginning to wonder. I thought they'd miss you at the paper."

The younger Gilmore smiled, shaking her head. "Nope. I can keep an eye on things from here. I've had them faxing stuff in. And if things fall apart, Paris will just execute a coup in my absence." She smiled at the thought of her other friend tyrannizing the other reporters. "Besides, it's nice being able to help my best friend get ready for her wedding! This is a really important day for you, and it should be as special as possible."

Lane grinned. "Oh no you don't!" she exclaimed. "No deflecting the topic. As much as I love Zach, we've been talking about nothing but wedding stuff for four days, and I like this topic of conversation much better. So come on. What actually brought this on? Give me details!"

"You know, Lane, you don't have to live vicariously through me anymore," Rory said in one last feeble attempt to change the topic.

"Oh, but I do! You get a big dose of crazy drama. I get a big dose of crazy Mama. So spill!"

"Fine." Rory conceded defeat with a sigh. "I just had... a very strange day on Friday. I went to Philadelphia--"

"Oh my god, you went to see Jess!" Lane exclaimed.

Rory stared at her friend in amazement. "How did you know he lives in Philadelphia."

"Miss Patty. She heard Luke talking to your mom about going to see Jess while he was in Philly and now the whole town knows."

She groaned. "Why?" she demanded of the cosmos. "Why why why couldn't Miss Patty keep quiet just this once?"

"Because she's Miss Patty?"

"Very true."

"So... you went to see Jess. What happened?"

Rory fell back against the back of the sofa, dropping her head back on the cushions. "Honestly, I have no idea. It was all very... confusing."

"Define confusing," Lane insisted.

"We talked. He's... he's changed a lot, but not at all." At Lane's questioning look, Rory elaborated, "It's like he's still exactly the same person he was, but he's not angry at the world any more, like he's come to peace with himself. And you should see his place! Truncheon is... well, it's perfect. Looking back, it's exactly where Jess belonged all along."

"Reminiscing, check. Starry eyes, check," Lane commented. "Rory, you realize what you sound like, right?"

Deciding to ignore her friend's insinuations, Rory said, "He kissed me."

This elicited a squeal from Lane- whether of delight or standard-issue surprise, she wasn't sure. "Oh my god! Rory!" After several seconds of more unintelligible squealing, Lane calmed down enough to lean forward conspiratorially and ask, "So, was it good?"

Rory sighed. "Yes," she admitted. "Scary good."

"Is he a better kisser than Logan?"

Closing her eyes, Rory slid a little further down in her seat. "Jess is a better kisser than _anybody_. But that doesn't mean I want to be with him!" she hastened to add when Lane's eyes grew shiny with excitement. "I don't think... And anyway, when did you get to be such a big fan of Jess?"

The glow hadn't faded from Lane's eyes, but she didn't say anything more than, "What can I say? He's grown on me."

Rory smiled slightly. "He does that."

"So, he kissed you. What then?"

"I confessed. That Logan had cheated on me. And I think I may have implied that I went to Philly to use Jess to get back at him."

Lane's ecstatic expression slipped. "What!? Girl, are you crazy?"

Rory shrugged, looking deflated. "Probably. But Lane, I think it really messed him up. At first, he didn't seem that upset, but later... he was completely freaked out. It scared me, to see him like that. The idea that even now, just one ill-planned visit from me could hurt him so much scared me. I guess I thought he had moved on, but he hasn't! What does that even mean?" Lane shrugged. "Anyway, we talked it over and we've decided to try and get back to being friends, but I know that's not what he wants, and I have no clue what _I_ want and I just... I need to think about all this."

There were a few moments of silence. Then Lane said, slowly, "Rory, you realize that, in a conversation about your relationship with Logan, we've spent most of it talking about Jess?"

"Yes," Rory said with a defeated expression.

"And I know you. You're projecting all this relationship trouble on Jess, because he's a convenient catalyst. But this has been coming for awhile, and I think you know it. Logan is... not the kind of guy I would _ever_ picture you with, and if you want my opinion, which I already know you don't but hear me out, you should really think hard about this. I mean, can you really picture a future with him? Can you imagine marrying him someday?"

It was a question Rory had never even considered. She had spent so much time on getting Logan just to be with her- _exclusively_ her- in the here and now that the future had stopped meaning much. When had that happened? Time was, Rory practically didn't exist in the present because she spent so much time looking forward to the future. And now that Lane had said it, she realized with a shock that she _couldn't_ picture a future with Logan. Marriage, children, none of it seemed like something she would really want to have with him.

"Why am I doing this?" she asked, not sure if she was asking Lane or herself or some hypothetical cosmic power.

Lane, however, seemed to be the only one of the three willing to provide any answers. "Um, because he's charming and handsome and loaded and you've always been a sucker for charming and handsome?"

"Not the loaded part?" Rory joked, trying to distract herself from the distressing direction her thoughts were taking.

Her friend laughed. "Nah, you're not the gold-digger type."

"Very reassuring," Rory said mock-sagely.

At that moment, Lorelai walked through the front door and announced, loudly, "I give in! I can't stay away another minute! I don't care if Cesar's the one making the coffee. We're going to Luke's!" The two friends grinned at each other and Rory rolled her eyes, already getting up off the couch to humor her insane mother.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Later that night, Rory stashed herself away safely in her old bedroom. It had been overall a really great day. Paris had only called once, and it had come back to her in full force why she loved Stars Hollow so much. But above all, her conversation with Lane had given her exactly the perspective she'd needed. When she gave it some serious thought, she was starting to see that life with Logan was all about the experience- not the goal, not the aftereffects, just the rush of the moment and the joy of being. And that, she thought, had been good for her for awhile. She had needed to be tossed out of her comfort zone. At the same time, though, she could see from observing the Huntzbergers how easy it would be to slip into a self-destructive downward spiral with that kind of lifestyle.

And it was time for Rory to break the tailspin.

She checked the time, did a quick calculation to be sure the time difference would in fact make up for the late hour (not that that would make much difference with Logan anyway), and dialed before she could lose her nerve.

He answered on the second ring. "Hey Ace!" Logan exclaimed in his customary jovial manner.

"Hi," Rory said, feeling her stomach clench at the sound of his voice. She was already having second thoughts. This was hard, and she'd only just said hello! But she had to do this. No matter how much she cared about Logan, life in the fast lane just wasn't for her.

She realized that Logan was speaking right through her musings. "...And they're making us take this ridiculous training course! We're not even going to get to do this jump until Friday, something about liability--"

"Logan," Rory said roughly, breaking into his verbiage. "I think we need to talk."

After the briefest of silences, he said, "That sounds ominous. Rory, I know we weren't on the best of terms when I left, but--"

"But this has been a long time coming," she said firmly. "Logan, I love you. You know that. But the fact is... sometimes I don't. Sometimes you're an insensitive jerk and I... I can't do this. I can't keep worrying that your next insane escapade will go wrong somehow. I can't keep trying to be the kind of girl who can throw herself into the kind of life you live and love it. You're an amazing person, but you and me, we're not a good fit."

There was another silence as he seemed to process her speech. "Okay," he said slowly, tasting the word. "So, is this really a breakup this time?"

Rory let out a bark of incredulous laughter. "I think so," she said.

"This sucks."

"Yeah, it does. If it helps at all, I really don't want to do this."

Logan sighed. "Listen, Rory, I love you. I don't want to lose you like this. Can we at least... can we put this off until we can talk face-to-face?"

She bit her lip. It wasn't the way she had wanted this to go. As insensitive as a phone breakup was, she needed to get this off her chest now. But how could she really do that to Logan? As she'd said, he could be a jerk, but she'd never want to deliberately hurt him more than she had to. And she'd said her piece. She'd been honest and he knew where her head was at right now. It would have to be enough, for now.

"Okay," she said hesitantly. "But trust that I speak from experience in saying that being in the same room as each other isn't going to make this conversation any easier."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. I'm new at this, remember?"

"Yes, I know," she said, grinning despite the twisting pain that had lodged in her torso.

"Rory... this isn't about the bridesmaids, is it?"

Twice in one conversation that he'd actually used her name. That, more than anything, drove home how seriously he was taking this. She felt a stab of guilt. "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a contributing factor. But that's not all of it, Logan. There are a lot of other things about this relationship that are making me uncomfortable."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he asked.

Rory shrugged, though the gesture was wasted on the phone. "I guess I didn't want to see it. If I just kept my mouth shut and kept my eyes closed, I wouldn't have to deal with it. But I'm dealing with it now, I guess."

After a brief pause, Logan said, "Well, look at us, Ace. Seems we're having this important conversation over the phone anyway, aren't we?"

"I guess we are."

"We should probably try to save something for when I get home, huh?"

"Suppose so."

Logan let out a breath that might have been a sigh. "I'll see you in a few days, Ace." The line went dead.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Lorelai glanced up from her magazine as her daughter appeared, wraithlike, in her bedroom doorway. Instantly, she put on her "mom face"; she could tell something was wrong. Even if Rory hadn't been trying to hold back tears, she seemed fragile, swallowed up by her pajamas as if she were still a young girl.

"Rory?" she asked.

"I think Logan and I might have just broken up," Rory said in a shaky voice.

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Lorelai held out her arms, inviting Rory into their embrace. Immediately, her daughter flew to her side and curled up on the bed, huddling into Lorelai's arms like the child she suddenly seemed to be once more. Lorelai hugged her to her side and stroked her hair softly as Rory cried on her shoulder.

A few minutes later, when the younger Gilmore had mostly recovered her composure, Lorelai judged it appropriate to ask, "What do you mean, you "think" you might have broken up?"

Rory sighed. "Well, we said all the right words, I told him why I'm just not sure about this relationship anymore, and we sort of said it was over, but we also decided to wait to talk about it until he gets back from his fabulous BASE-jumping adventure," she said bitterly. "Even though we actually _did_ talk about it, I'm not actually sure quite what we are now..." She trailed away with a helpless shrug.

Lorelai nodded. "Ah, the age-old problem of unfinished conversations." Rory didn't respond, staring at her bare feet instead. As the silence lengthened, Lorelai cast desperately around for something to fill it with, and as she did, the slight worry that had been niggling at the back of her mind for the last several minutes (the last several _days_ if she were to be really honest) came bursting out of her mouth. "Rory, this doesn't have anything to do with Jess, does it?"

Her daughter looked up in surprise, her azure eyes filled with indignation. "No, Mom, it doesn't!" she exclaimed. "Jess has made me rethink a lot of things, yeah, but believe me, he is _not_ the reason this is happening. It would have come to this eventually. It just maybe happened a little sooner because of what happened the other day."

"Okay, alright. It's just that when you called me from Philadelphia, it sort of seemed like--"

"Mom! I'm not interested in starting something with Jess right now!"

Lorelai held up her hands in surrender, and Rory went back to her bedroom for some well-deserved beauty rest. It was only many minutes after the lights downstairs had been extinguished that she realized the key words in her daughter's statement that probably not even Rory had thought about: "right now."

* * *

TBC...  
Quite soon. Maybe even as early as Wednesday! I've been inspired, what can I say? But a few good reviews always helps!


	4. Getting Comfortable Again

**A/N-** Aren't I awesome? Four updates in four days. It's some kind of insane record for me! Though I'm sure my (extremely tiny) group of loyal fans over in the Heroes fandom are feeling the heat of my distraction... Anyway, this picks up again the morning after last chapter. It's a bit shorter, but oh well. You will have to deal with that.

* * *

"Hey Rory?" Lorelai asked cautiously from the doorway, worried that Rory might be engaged in some well-earned wallowing. "I'm going to the diner for lunch. Coming?"

The younger Gilmore glanced at the clock on her desk. "Mom, isn't it a little early for lunch?"

Lorelai gasped. "Blasphemy!"

"It's ten o'clock in the morning."

"It's never too early for lunch!"

"And it's never too late to compromise and have pancakes for lunch."

Lorelai grinned proudly. "I have taught you well, girl-child. Now are you coming?"

Rory shook her head. "No, Paris just called with a crisis that needs my immediate attention."

"Aw, my baby's abandoning me for work! I feel unloved."

"And the abandoner could care less," Rory said with a teasing grin. "Now go! I really have to get some work done or I'm going to lose my position." Lorelai gave her one last pout and disappeared from the doorway.

Rory waited until she heard the front door bang shut and the telltale rumble of the Jeep in the driveway. Then she pushed away her schoolwork and her things for the paper and dropped onto the bed, pulling out her cell phone as she did so. She wasn't sure why she was being so secretive about this. After all, this was just a phone call between friends trying to reconnect. But she knew that her mother would be all over it if she were to overhear, and Rory just wasn't ready to deal with a level of probing that would make alien abductees flinch.

Before she could completely lose her nerve, she dialed...

❤ * ❤ * ❤

The atmosphere in Truncheon Books was tense. The typical lighthearted banter that was the _modus operandi_ was still in effect, but the occupants of the room could feel that it was forced. The entirety of the small room, up to and including inanimate objects, seemed to be focused on the tight little ball of unstable energy that was Jess Mariano.

He had been wound since the open house, and neither Chris nor Matthew needed any hints as to why. Whatever had transpired between him and the elusive Rory Gilmore, it had clearly done a number on Jess. He wasn't particularly snappish, but his usual enthusiasm was missing and he responded instead with terse, too-polite replies that just barely escaped being sneering. A kind of nervous electricity seemed to be running through him, causing him to drum his fingers on desktops and tap his toes incessantly, much to the irritation of his office-mates.

When the phone rang, it was a welcome distraction from the tip-tap of his pen against the desk. Matthew lunged for the receiver, answering with a professional, if out-of-breath, "Truncheon Books." For a few seconds, he listened to the caller, then looked up and nodded to Jess. "It's for you, man." Jess's eyebrows contracted as he took the cordless from Matt's hand.

As he took in the voice on the line, his eyes widened slightly. Immediately he pushed back from his desk and walked deliberately over to the stairs, taking them two at a time to the upstairs apartment. The door thunked shut behind him.

"Who was that?" Chris asked curiously.

Matt shrugged. "I dunno. Some chick."

The wheels in Chris's head turned, and he grinned. "I bet you thirty bucks it was that Rory girl."

"You don't have thirty bucks."

"Then I'll give you an IOU."

Matt rolled his eyes and returned to his attempt to wade through the editing job on his poet's latest submission.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"Rory?" Jess demanded as he leaned heavily against the door he'd put between himself and his colleagues.

"Hi," she said, sounding very small. "I know what we said about being friends the other day, but I wasn't sure you would actually want to hear from me so I kept putting off calling and then this morning I realized I was being idiotic. So... hi. I already said that."

Despite himself, he smiled. "Yeah, you did. So why exactly did you call?"

He could almost hear the shrug in her voice when she replied; he wasn't sure if he liked that or not. "I thought it would be good to just talk. Not about anything really important. We need to get used to each other again, I guess."

Crossing the apartment to flop down on the ratty sofa, Jess grinned again. It had been so long since he'd just had a _conversation_ with Rory. Over the past couple of years, it seemed like every time they encountered each other they'd felt compelled to discuss Big Weighty Matters. The closest they'd come to one of their legendary discussions/debates/analyses had been at the open house not even a week before, and even that had been continually interrupted by the other attendees. "Okay," he replied emphatically.

After the ensuing silence that issued from the receiver, he added, "You know, you have to actually say something to have a conversation."

Rory laughed nervously. "Yes, I know. I was just... trying to think of something to say. Well, there were a few really obvious things that came to mind, but I thought they were all a little cliché for us, and that's not a good way to turn over a fresh leaf, so..."

"I personally think the old standbys are probably the safest territory right now," Jess said carefully. "And in that spirit... read any good books lately?"

"Not as many as I'd like," she said with a laugh. "The library at Yale is running low on things I haven't read already. Yesterday I managed to wrap up _Shanghai Girls_ before Paris started bugging me."

"_Shanghai Girls_..." Jess murmured, running through his mental card catalogue, trying to pinpoint the novel in question and coming up empty. "I don't think I've read that one. Who's it by?"

"Lisa See. It's her latest. It's not as good as _Peony in Love_, but I think it might be better than _Snow Flower and the Secret Fan._"

As the information filed itself away in the back of his mind, Jess scoffed. "You can't have it both ways, Rory! _Snow Flower_ is infinitely better than _Peony_ any day."

"Firstly, you could not be more wrong. Secondly, I figured you'd read _Snow Flower_, but I didn't think you'd go for _Peony in Love_. It's too much of a chick book."

"Hey, you're talking to the guy who freely and of his own volition admitted that "Almost Famous" is his favorite movie."

"Touché," Rory laughed. "So whatever happened to you that you've so sadly misjudged _Snow Flower_? It's an excellent book, but in no way is it comparable to _Peony._ All the stuff about the foot-binding is so... ugh! I can't imagine it."

"Yes you can."

"You're right, I can. And that's the problem. I can imagine it _far_ too vividly. I'll stick with my tennis shoes, thank you! That is, if Paul Anka hasn't eaten them..."

Jess raised an eyebrow. "Am I missing something?"

Rory laughed. "Oh, not the _real_ Paul Anka. My mom named her dog Paul Anka, and every so often he goes crazy and starts messing with shoes."

"Only someone living in Stars Hollow would think _Paul Anka_ of all things is an appropriate name for a dog," Jess commented, shaking his head. "So how are things in the Nuthouse?"

"Excellent," Rory said. "I've been in town for a couple of days, and I'm beginning to regret moving so far away!"

"You're only twenty miles away!" Jess exclaimed. "You can drive that in less than half an hour!"

For the briefest of moments his tongue had stumbled over the word "twenty." He had been very sorely tempted to say "22.8," but that memory was a painful one, though not nearly as painful as it used to be. Still, this conversation was going unexpectedly well; they had fallen into the easy rhythm of talking as if they did this every day, instead of just beginning to speak again after going on three years of separation. There was no need to make things awkward by reminding them both of things past.

"True," Rory continued while his thoughts rambled. "But I still miss things when I'm not here. Kirk, for instance."

Jess let out an incredulous snort. "Wait, did you just say that you _miss_ Kirk Gleason?"

"Not miss as in "oh, I wish Kirk were here,"" she clarified. "More like I miss hearing my mom or Luke or Miss Patty or someone saying "oh, did you hear what Kirk did this morning?" You must admit, the man is an excellent source of entertainment."

"A valid point."

"You know, I bet he's probably still afraid of you."

"What did I ever do to him?"

"Not much of anything, but I think a large portion of Stars Hollow was just inclined to despise you, which of course makes no sense."

Jess didn't stop to think before saying, "I think it was a combination of the fake murder and the fact that they were all very concerned about their town princess being tainted by the urban outcast." It came out more bitterly than he'd intended. There was a sudden strained silence, and Jess mentally kicked himself. "Sorry, I--"

"No," Rory said hurriedly. "Don't worry about it. We knew there were going to be things to put behind us. We're good, though, right?"

"Yeah," he said uncomfortably.

After a few more seconds of silence, Rory blurted out, "Lane's getting married on Friday."

"Really?" Jess asked. "Who's the lucky guy? Dave?"

"Nope. Zach."

"Huh."

"I know. It's not a couple I would have expected either."

"Tell me about it. So how's the terrifying Mama Kim reacting to the event?"

Rory grinned. "Well, once she and Zach wrote a hit song, she was really okay with it."

"I don't think I want to know the story."

"Probably not. Ooh, but you'll get a kick out of what happened to Taylor last week..."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Some twenty minutes later, Jess returned to the main floor of Truncheon. The tightly-wound spring inside him seemed to have uncoiled somewhat, and there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"Hey, welcome back to the land of the working!" Matt announced churlishly. "That guy with the UFO book called on the other line while you were up chatting with your girlfriend."

Jess gave him a basilisk-like glare, and muttered, "She's not my girlfriend, okay? Go be an asshole somewhere else, huh?"

"Now now boys, play nice!" Chris interjected.

After treating Chris to the same withering look he'd given their neurotic coworker, Jess sat back down at his desk. For several minutes, he sat there, staring at his hands and occasionally fiddling with his stapler. At last, he looked up. "Hey guys," he said. "You think I could get away with taking Friday off...?"

* * *

TBC...  
And is it really weird that I definitely can see Jess reading Lisa See, but not Rory?


	5. Lane's Wedding

**A/N-** I told you I wouldn't be able to keep it up. But I got an update out today, so it all works out. I hope you don't mind that I left out some of the scenes I know you know, and only included the ones that had been altered. If you really can't remember, most of the episode is on YouTube, but I would hope that you all DO remember... I'm babbling. Sorry. On to the chapter!

* * *

It was eleven o'clock in the morning on Friday.

Jess swore under his breath. It had only now occurred to him, as he was passing the generic green "Stars Hollow, Population: 2,000" sign that he realized he had nowhere to stay. Luke was out of town with April, he'd known that, and though he knew he was always welcome at the diner apartment, it felt strange to just crash there with Luke gone. Even though it was home the closest thing to a real home he'd actually had, it had been a very long time since he'd actually been there for more than a few hours. And Liz and TJ were out on the road with the fair.

Which left one extremely awkward lodging choice. He could only pray that Lorelai would be busy getting ready for the wedding this afternoon to come in to the Dragonfly today, because it was really his last option.

He pulled up the drive to the Inn, parked his car, and proceeded inside cautiously, glancing around in anticipation of spotting Lorelai or someone else who would recognize him. Thankfully, he did not see anyone. In exchange for his apparent good fortune, however, karma decided to saddle him with a man bearing the single most annoying French accent Jess had ever heard.

"Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn, how may I help you?" the man behind the desk asked in a bored tone that could not have conveyed the insincerity of his words any better. Jess ground his teeth in irritation. Vaguely, he thought he recalled the man's name, it was Michael or Mitch or something.

"Are there any rooms available for the night?" he asked, resisting the urge to just turn around and forget this whole stupid idea. Yes, Mickey _was _that annoying. He still hadn't looked up from whatever "fascinating" things he was scribbling down on the large planner/datebook in front of him.

"No, I'm afraid there are not," Mitch said disinterestedly. "Unfortunately, there are sixty insane Koreans filling up all our rooms at this moment."

Jess groaned. Leave it to Lane Kim's insane family to book up his only viable sleeping arrangements. Well, it looked like he was going to have to crash in his car tonight. Not that it would be the first time, but he had hoped that it wouldn't be a state of affairs he'd have to resort to again. Leave it to Rory Gilmore to get him to this point--

"Jess?" a woman's voice squealed.

He turned around, surprised to say the least. Sookie, Lorelai's friend, came hurrying out of the kitchen. "Jess, what are you doing here?" she asked. "Michel, what is Jess doing here?"

Michel- Jess couldn't help but snort at the somewhat feminine name, though he knew he wasn't really in a position to point fingers- still didn't look up. "I do not know what the hoodlum is doing back," he said, still sounding bored out of his mind. "He inquired about reserving a room, and I really could not care less beyond that. Now please go away and let me get on with my work."

Looking mildly affronted, Sookie turned back to Jess. "Uh... hi," she said. "It's, uh, good to see you. Luke's said so many good things about you and I heard something about a book--"

She was wringing her hands uncomfortably as she continued to babble. Deciding to rescue her, Jess broke over her flow of words. "I'm actually in town for Lane's wedding." He couldn't help but smile a little at the look of obvious relief on her face now that she wasn't the only one trying to uphold this exceedingly awkward bit of small talk. "Rory mentioned it the other day and I thought I should stop by and give Lane my best wishes."

Sookie's eyes widened. "R-Rory?" she stuttered. "She didn't say she'd seen you--"

Jess shrugged. "Well, I'd better go," he said. He headed for the door, then thought of something and turned around. "Sookie, don't tell Lorelai or Rory I'm here just yet."

And he walked out the door, leaving the flabbergasted chef standing in the foyer of the Dragonfly Inn, looking torn.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"Why are we running?" Sookie half-yelled, out of breath.

"Fifty-eight seats, sixty-two Koreans!" Lorelai replied in a similar manner.

Sookie's response was to clutch Jackson's arm tighter and run more quickly. When they entered the chapel, she glanced around. "We'll take two and two," she said desperately. "Two and two is fine!"

Lorelai shook her head. "No, we can find four together!"

"I don't think we can!" Sookie exclaimed.

At that moment, Miss Patty waved them over. The dance instructor smiled at Lorelai. "Oh hello, dear. Lovely dress. Oh! The things I could do with that body...!" she exclaimed. "Sit, sit!" Patty gestured to the four vacant chairs surrounding her.

"It's a madhouse in here, how did you get all these seats together?" Lorelai asked.

Patty grinned. "Oh, I've been here all night."

"Honey, why?"

"Fifty-eight seats, sixty-two Koreans!"

Sookie was arranging her dress, which had somehow gotten a little hitched up while they were running, and as she shifted, she caught sight of a familiar figure over her shoulder and turned around for a closer look. Yep, sure enough, there he was, dressed in a smart charcoal suit with that infuriatingly endearing smirk plastered on his face as he watched the scramble going on in the church. Despite his earlier words, Sookie felt the need to confess. It would be weird to lie to her best friend, even if it was a lie of omission!

"Uh, Lorelai?" she said hesitantly. "Uh, you should probably know that Jess is here. And he came by the Inn earlier trying to book a room but we didn't have any and he told me not to tell you but I really thought you should know that he's back in town!"

Lorelai glanced over her shoulder and winced. She had guessed that Rory and Jess were trying to reestablish some kind of friendship, but him showing up here like this still worried her. No matter how much he had grown up, she couldn't help but remember the town bad boy who had broken her daughter's heart...

❤ * ❤ * ❤

She wasn't sure how she'd missed seeing him as she made her way up the aisle, but as she took her place at the front of the church, Rory's eyes found a familiar face at the back of the crowd standing in the rear of the church.

"Jess?" she mouthed in absolute disbelief.

As Lane made her appearance, he winked at her, that trademark smirk planted firmly on his face. Rory felt her mouth turning up in an involuntary, almost unconscious smile. An unexpected elation ran through her, and she forced her eyes away from Jess to watch Lane's progress down the aisle. It would be hard, but she had to focus her attention on the wedding. That was her duty as the maid of honor.

Despite her resolution, though, she found her eyes drawn back to him throughout the brief wedding. She told herself it was because the ceremony was entirely in incomprehensible Korean.

What felt like only minutes later, the wedding was over, and Rory trailed a jubilant Lane out of the chapel and into the late afternoon sunlight. For a moment, she entertained the idea of finding Jess immediately. At that moment, however, Christopher hurried up to her, and his apologies for his unintentional Sidekick-stalking effectively distracted her for the time being.

--

It wasn't until after Mama Kim had gone inside, some twenty minutes later, that Rory finally caught sight of Jess again. Abandoning Zach and Lane to the attentions of Bar Owner Kirk, she hurried through the crowd to where he was standing on the edges of the party.

With some difficulty, she stopped herself from saying the first thing that came to mind, which was, _You look good in a suit_ (undeniably true). Instead, she asked the question that had been pricking at the back of her mind since he turned up. "What are you doing here?"

He smirked. "A little birdie told me Lane was getting hitched. Thought I'd come see an old friend get married."

Rory gave him a confused smile. "Lane was never your friend, Jess."

Jess shrugged. "Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf, then. Making new friends."

"She'll be glad you're here," she assured him. "Lane is suddenly a big fan of yours."

He raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "Really?" he asked skeptically. "Did my mild-mannered alter-ego do something I should know about?"

Rory shook her head. "No, I think she's just realized that you're one of a very tiny number of people who understands her when she goes into audiophile mode." After a slight pause, she added, "And I may have mentioned how much you had to do with me getting my life back together."

Jess shifted his weight nervously. "I didn't do much," he mumbled. It was an encounter he didn't like to think about too much.

"Except that you did!" she exclaimed. "You were the only person willing to tell me what an idiot I was being! I needed that, and I never actually thanked you. So... thanks."

"Always here to help," he said, uncomfortable with the unexpected turn this conversation had taken. Hastily, and painfully obviously, at least in his mind, he changed the subject. "So, I heard a rumor about an open bar?"

Rory grinned. "You heard right. But I should probably warn you that Kirk is running it."

"They actually allow that man access to large quantities of alcohol?" he asked incredulously.

She shrugged. "Well, he hasn't had any himself, so I think we're okay. There are worse people to intrust the booze to. Mrs. Kim, for instance."

He winced. "She'd use it as lighter fluid for her "perverse book" burning sessions!"

"How does she define perverse?" Rory asked, shuddering at the thought.

"Eh, probably anything and everything you or I has ever read," he said off-handedly. "That woman honestly terrifies me a little bit."

Rory nodded sympathetically. "Mrs. Kim scares _everybody_. Well, except for Luke, but he still does what she says. Have you ever been on the receiving end of her "you are going to hell" stare?"

"Does she actually have any others?" Jess joked.

At that moment, Lane bounced up to them. "Hey, no badmouthing Mama today!" she half-shouted. "I got married, Rory, I got married!" She threw her arms around her best friend while Jess watched in amusement.

Rory noted the significantly reduced skirt on the wedding gown Lane was wearing. "Congratulations," she said. "What happened to the rest of your dress?"

"Oh, just your mom's general brilliance," Lane said, beaming. At that moment, she finally registered the third presence in their group. "Oh, hi Jess!" she exclaimed. "Did Rory invite you? I'm glad you could come!"

"Uh, yeah," Jess said. "Congratulations, Lane."

"Thanks," the bride said. "You staying in town long?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I've got to head back tomorrow night, Sunday at the very latest."

Lane sighed. "Shame. This town is extremely boring without you. No fake murders, no mysteriously repaired toasters..."

"Stars Hollow? Boring?" Jess joked. Then his face changed and he looked accusingly at Rory. "Wait, you told her about the toaster?"

She shrugged. "Well, I figured _somebody_ besides me ought to know that beneath the grouchy, delinquent exterior, you were really just a big sweetheart."

Jess turned a little pink. "Was not," he muttered.

Lane grinned widely. "There he is! The Monosyllable returns!"

"The Monosyllable?" he asked irritably. "That sounds like a terrible supervillain name."

"And before the mocking and general name-calling begins, I think we were discussing getting a drink?" Rory interrupted hurriedly, deciding to intervene before the hitherto friendly banter became less friendly. Jess might have grown up a lot, but he was still Jess, and there were only a select handful of people he would actually tolerate mocking from. Lane hadn't spent enough time with Jess to be allowed into that exclusive club. Though Rory wasn't ashamed to admit that she hoped that would someday change. She wanted these two important people in her life to get to really know each other.

After a brief discussion with Kirk about "yummy bartenders," they walked away successfully with drinks in hand.

"Never make me do that again," Jess said in a serious tone, but she could see that he was concealing a grin. "Now, I get why he was asking your opinion, but why did he want _my_ input as well?"

Rory laughed. "It's Kirk."

"Point."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Some hours later, Lorelai glanced over at the table directly across from them, where her daughter was sitting with her ex-boyfriend, talking and laughing and looking more like the old Rory than she had seen in ages.

"What do you think of that?" Christopher asked.

She glanced at him. "I... don't know," she said. "I think it's good that they're on good terms. Why? What do you think about it?" After Sookie's revelation before the ceremony, Christopher had interrogated her about Jess, demanding to know if it was the same Jess who had broken Rory's arm and heart, the answer to both of which was unfortunately yes.

Christopher shrugged. "Honestly? I have no idea. I've never even spoken to the guy. But she looks--"

"Happy," Lorelai finished for him. "That's what worries me."

Deciding on a whim that it would do no good to sit and wallow in her anxiety, both over Rory's friends and her own nagging fears that the wedding had stirred up, Lorelai leapt to her feet. When she returned to the table a few minutes later, she was carrying a tray loaded with shots...

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"Oh my god, make her stop!" Rory mumbled under her breath as she rose out of her seat, trying to block out the sounds of her mother's rambling, drunken toast. She threw a desperate glance at Jess, who was staring at the elder Gilmore with an unreadable expression on his face. "Help me!" Rory demanded. He shrugged and rose to his feet, tailing her to the stage.

Rory took Lorelai gently by the elbow. "Okay, here we go," she said. "You're done." Jess hurried around to Lorelai's other side and took her other arm, helping Rory to gently guide Lorelai off the stage. They ushered her back to Chris and sat her down next to him, hoping that that would be sufficient to keep her quiet.

Unfortunately, some half an hour later, they were proved violently wrong. "Ah jeez," Jess muttered. "We better get her out of here before she does any more damage."

Rory smirked, thinking fondly of how much he sounded like Luke. When that thought and the accompanying expression faded, she looked at Lane. "Sorry, I don't think we can stay longer," she said, looking truly regretful. Lane shrugged and planted a kiss on Zach's lips. Rory smiled again, then joined Jess and Christopher in getting Lorelai back to the Jeep.

When they arrived back at the Crapshack, Christopher carried Lorelai inside and upstairs to the bedroom, which left Rory and Jess standing together at the bottom of the stairs.

After the slightest hesitation, Rory said, "I'm glad you came tonight, Jess. It meant a lot to Lane, and to me--"

The phone rang.

* * *

TBC...  
Soon. Because I am evil. But not THAT evil.


	6. Let Go

**A/N-** Thank you guys SO much for your positive response and feedback on this fic. I've been trying to reply to all your reviews as much as possible, but it's a bit overwhelming- I've NEVER gotten this kind of feedback on a fic before, and I'm really excited! Thank you for your continued support!

And I would also like to say that, though I am NOT a Logan fan, I really wanted to make him the good guy for once. I think deep down in his heart of hearts there was a spark of something decent there.

* * *

After giving Jess an apologetic look, Rory answered the phone. "Hello? Finn, what--?" As she listened to the voice on the end of the line, Jess could see her knuckles going white on the receiver, and her blue eyes widened suddenly. Other than that, though, she did not betray what she was feeling... which only served to make him more concerned.

Finally, she ended the phone call with a terse goodbye, and hurled the phone into the couch cushions. "The idiot!" she exclaimed furiously.

"What is it?" Jess asked.

Rory sighed. "Logan. He went and threw himself off the stupid cliff and his chute barely opened and-- dammit!"

He looked askance at her. It was, he was pretty sure, the first time he'd ever heard her curse in any seriousness. Part of him was seething underneath the shock. He supposed he couldn't expect her to just toss away what was apparently a very well-established relationship at the drop of a hat (or, more literally, over one extremely bizarre conversation), but it rankled to see her going pale over the blonde dick.

For a moment, he was actually tempted to leave again; coming here had clearly been a lapse in judgment. He'd been stupid to think that maybe there could be something happening between them. He ought to know by now that it was impossible. But Rory's restless energy left her very suddenly, and she dropped onto the sofa beside the discarded phone, staring at her hands. "I have to go to New York, I think," she said, and her voice was very small.

And that was it. He couldn't leave her like this. Not again. "You want me to drive you?" he offered wearily.

Immediately, her face brightened. "Yes!" she said quickly. Then she seemed to think better of it. "If... if you don't mind, that is."

"No, I don't mind," he assured her, though he most definitely _was_ bothered by the idea of driving her to see her boyfriend in the hospital. But the relieved expression that spread across her face at his words made it worth it.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed. "I've got to let Christopher and Mom--" She grimaced and changed her words upon remembering Lorelai's current state. "Well, I guess just Dad, actually. I've got to let him know and then we can go."

She raced upstairs, and Jess was left to confront the startling fact that Lorelai's pseudo-date for Lane's wedding was in fact Rory's father. He had wondered about that, though he hadn't asked. But now a worrisome thought was forming in his head, and a resolution with it...

❤ * ❤ * ❤

The trip thus far had been spent in virtual silence. They were still only halfway to the city, having passed the border between New York and Connecticut an hour back. As Jess looked over at Rory, he saw the utterly blank look on her face. "You okay?" he asked.

She shrugged. "It's... complicated," she muttered. "I'm not actually sure what the protocol is here."

"Last time I checked, it was pretty typical for a girl to visit her injured boyfriend in the hospital," he replied, keeping his tone carefully even.

Rory didn't look at him. "But I don't know where Logan and I stand!" she said. "We discussed breaking up, but I don't think we actually did it. So what does that make us? And why did the idiot have to go and get himself tossed off a cliff in the first place?"

Jess was afraid to breathe. For a moment, he had thought he'd misheard her, but the miserable look on her face was still there and he realized that it was true. He was amazed to understand that his earlier assumption back at the house was wrong. Had her perceptions really changed so much just since they'd seen each other at the open house?

But she was still talking, and he forced his brain to break free of its paralysis to pay attention.

"...And I don't know why I'm saying all this because god knows you don't want to hear it!" she exclaimed.

Though he had missed at least half of what she'd said, he shrugged. "S'okay," he assured her.

Rory lapsed into pensive silence nonetheless, staring fixedly at the dashboard as if trying to divine life's secrets from the flat expanse of gray... Huh. Life's secrets in a dashboard. And that line of thought suddenly lead to inspiration for a scene, just popping whole into his head and, excitedly, Jess began mapping out a story to be built around it, filling in the before and the after and the tiny details that he knew he would never remember until the third rewrite...

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Jess wasn't actually sure when it was that they'd arrived in New York, he'd been so lost in thought. Somehow he'd driven the rest of the way in a haze of abstraction, his thoughts given over entirely to the fuzzy idea expanding in his mind and leaving his body on autopilot to do the actual driving. But as the city skyline came into view, Rory spoke.

"We need to get to New York General," she said.

The words shocked him out of his focused state and he came back to himself with a heavy thump. Though his thoughts were still electric and his nerve endings still singing with tense elation, he took the appropriate exit from the highway and made inroads to the main city, steering efficiently through mercifully thin late-night traffic. Some twenty minutes later, they arrived at the hospital and Rory leapt out of the car, hurrying inside.

Jess took his time parking; he'd never been keen on hospitals and he liked this one even less knowing that somewhere inside, one Logan Huntzberger was possibly dying. He delayed as long as possible, double-checking the locks on his doors. He even briefly considered lighting up. He still had a pack of Camels in the glove compartment, though he'd long since quit smoking. Every once in awhile, though, when things got particularly stressful, he would reach for the comforting poison of nicotine in his system.

Eventually, though, he decided against it and just faced the inevitable. When he finally located Rory, she was shouting at a couple of guys, both of whom seemed rather irritated with her.

"All we're saying, Love," one of them said in an Australian accent, "is it's just a bit rude of you to call him like that and then not even resolve the issue!"

Rory growled in irritation. "That's not the point!" she exclaimed. "The point is to find out if Logan is okay or not and... and that wasn't even my fault! Logan left me hanging! He's the one who wanted to put off talking about it, not me!" She let out another grunt of frustration. "You know what, why don't you two idiots go make something useful of yourselves and call... someone. Get somebody here. Mitchum or Honor or _somebody_."

Apparently cowed by her tirade, the pair of them scuttled off together.

"Well," Jess said, leaning his shoulder against the wall. "That was... impressive."

She jumped, and whirled around to look at him in surprise. "Jess! There you are!" she said. "What took you so long?"

He shrugged. "Couldn't find a parking spot."

Rory half-collapsed onto one of the chairs that, although padded, were still deeply uncomfortable. Jess settled into the one next to her. "So they won't tell me anything because I'm not family, and I can't get ahold of his mother because she went and checked herself into a spa the minute it happened apparently and his sister is still on her honeymoon and his father... well, Logan's father is a pompous ass and I wouldn't really have expected him to turn up anyway even though he _should_..." She ran out of steam and leaned back against the slick plastic backing on the chair.

"Putting the "fun" in "dysfunctional" huh?" Jess guessed.

"You could say that. Not that it's much better than Grandma and Mom are sometimes, but at least _they're_ open about it and don't _pretend_ not to argue the way the Huntzbergers try to."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

It was many hours later that a resident bearing a clipboard and a clinically blank expression approached them. "Miss Gilmore?" she asked. "He's awake."

Rory watched Jess out of the corner of her eye even as she felt the relief flooding through her. His expression was impossible to read, as it had been since she had first taken that stupid phone call only yesterday evening (it was now early Saturday morning). It worried her. Their conversation at the wedding had been so easy, it had flowed so smoothly and felt absolutely natural and engrossed her completely. It was good to have an intellectual equal to talk to again- well, besides Paris, that is, because Paris was... Paris.

But Rory had thought their relationship was finally finding _some_ kind of comfortable ground, however they defined it, and she was worried that this complication with Logan was only going to throw a wrench in it all. Because no matter where they ended up, she knew that she needed Jess in her life one way or another. She didn't want it all to derail so soon just because her semi-ex-boyfriend had managed to get himself rather badly damaged.

"I'll be back in a little bit," she said to Jess, hoping her words would reassure him somehow. "You okay here?" He shrugged, and she took that for a yes.

The resident led her into the private ward where Logan was attached to all kinds of tubes and machines. Through bruising eyelids and a swollen lip, he looked up at her and grinned weakly. "Hey Ace," he said.

"Hi, Logan," she said. And as she looked at him, she knew she couldn't do it. She couldn't break up with someone in this condition! That wasn't just selfish, it was downright cruel. "About what I said on the phone the other day, Logan, can we just forget that ever hap--"

"No," he said.

Rory stared at him. "W-What?" she asked.

Though his voice was still raspy and weak, the single syllable came out clearly. "No." He made a vague gesture with his hand indicating that she should sit down on the edge of the bed. She did so gingerly, so that the shift in the mattress her additional weight caused would not give him any pain. "Ace, I know I'm a dog. But I like to think you've made me a better man. And even I wouldn't hold you in this relationship because I went and got myself banged up. As much as I would love to have my very own Florence Nightingale, if you're sure that this relationship isn't what you want, then I guess I'm okay with that."

Her throat was dry and her eyes were stinging as she looked at his battered profile. "Logan..." she began, but he just smiled sadly.

"Hey, don't worry about me," he said. "Doc says I'm gonna be fine in a month or two. I'm sure I'll find somebody to take care of me... maybe that blonde who was checking my chart earlier?" Logan smiled to show that he was joking (mostly). "Now get outta here."

It was the perfect opening. He was letting her go, no strings attached. That somehow made it worse, that he was giving up without a fight, and even though Rory knew that she had to take the opportunity, it was too much for her already strained composure. The tears she'd been holding back as he spoke slipped from behind her lashes and slid down her cheeks. She leaned over to hug him tenderly. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

Logan winced as she jostled his broken ribs slightly, but concealed it when she pulled back. "Go on," he said, smiling. "I'll see you around, Ace."

"Bye, Logan."

As the door swung shut behind her, Logan swallowed hard against the burning sensation in his own throat. He had never cried over a girl before, but Rory Gilmore seemed like a good place to start if he had to...

* * *

TBC...  
Probably tomorrow!


	7. Homecoming

**A/N-** So I'm going to this music festival thing, and unfortunately I won't be able to drag the laptop along. So for the two days this thing lasts, I can't post updates. I will, however, write them out longhand so that you can get some super-special updates on Tuesday, okay?

* * *

She hadn't been inside Logan's room long, but apparently it had been long enough for something disastrous to occur, because when she emerged, tears were coursing down Rory's cheeks. He told himself not to react, that her issues with that guy were her own to deal with and it wasn't any of his business... but that did Jess no good. Seeing her like this worried him. Always had.

He all but jumped to his feet. "Hey," he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, unable to do more. "You okay?"

Rory ignored his question. "Let's get out of here," she said, wiping in apparent frustration at her leaking eyes.

Jess complied, putting a tentative hand on her elbow to guide her gently down the corridor and towards the elevators. As they walked, they passed the two idiots from before and Rory paused, looking at them. "Finn, Colin," she said quietly. "He was awake, but I think he probably wants to be try and rest right now, okay? I'll... I'll see you guys around sometime." Her voice quavered, but she held her head high and she gave them a small, steady smile. And then she walked away.

When they settled into the car, she reached over and turned on the radio without a word. It was obvious that she wasn't ready to talk about whatever had happened, and he wasn't about to press her. He'd always been comfortable with silence.

He automatically guided the car away from downtown New York. Once again, the time was on their side. It was now early afternoon, and most of the traffic was still heading into the city rather than out, and they reached the interstate pretty quickly. Jess slid into the exhilarated daze he got from driving, the joy of just getting out on the road and _existing_. This time was different, because he had a goal and a destination in mind, but he still got that thrill. While he was driving, it was just him and the steering wheel and the road and the sound of the radio and... _Rory_.

He glanced at the girl in the seat beside him. Her eyes were dry now, but there was a barely concealed look of confusion on her face. She stared straight ahead and she wasn't even pretending to actually listen to the radio. For a moment, he considered asking her what had happened, then decided against it. He was tired of being the one who initiated things in this relationship. Let her be the one to break the silence for once.

But Rory didn't speak, and he didn't mind. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what Logan had done to put this look on her face.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

As they pulled up in front of the Crapshack, Rory finally came out of the stupefied daze she'd been in since Logan had officially put an end to things. Little details jumped out at her as she took in her surroundings. The vivid blue of the outside of the repainted house. The numbers of the digital clock in the dashboard glowing steadily at 6:37. The light on in Lorelai's bedroom shining through the window. The texture of the seatbelt running across her torso as she unstrapped it.

Things felt strange and disjointed as she tried to reassess her situation. She was hurting. Yes, she couldn't deny that, because she did love Logan, once and perhaps a little bit still. It was going to take time to adjust to not having him in her life, even if it had originally been her idea.

Jess turned the key in the ignition, and the rumble of the engine fell silent. She looked at him for a moment before getting out of the car. He stepped out as well.

For a moment, they stood there in the yard, looking at each other. Then she sighed. "Thank you for driving me. I don't think it would have been very good if I'd gone alone. I hope I didn't totally interrupt your plans for the weekend?"

A slight smirk crossed his mouth. "Nah," he said. "Didn't really have any. I brought a few copies of _The Subsect_ for Andrew to stock, but other than that..." He shrugged.

Confused, Rory asked, "Then why did you come here?"

"I thought we were going to work on being friends," he said dryly, one eyebrow raised to punctuate the uncertain half-question she sensed behind his words.

"Oh."

Rory felt very small and very stupid all of a sudden. She had guessed that she was at least a part of his reasons for coming back to Stars Hollow, but she had honestly thought that she was only part. But in retrospect, that seemed very naïve of her after everything that had happened at the open house. She knew that she was important to him, probably more so than she really deserved. And he was certainly important to her (even if she wasn't quite sure in what way just yet). But then again, Jess had always managed to go and do the last thing she expected, which had been a large part of what attracted her in the first place.

She let out a silent breath. "You're a really good friend," she said. "Probably better than I deserve."

He closed the gap between them, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "That's not true and you know it," he said quietly.

"Which part?" she joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"The part about not deserving it," he said, not taking her opening. "Everybody deserves people to lean on. You taught me that, even though I was too stupid to admit you were right at the time. Instead I ran away from the only two people who ever actually gave me that. This is me trying to make up for that."

It was the first time over the last twenty-four hours they'd spent in each others company that they had directly alluded to their history, and Rory almost held her breath. But neither of them shattered and nothing horrendous occurred. It was all okay. She nodded, and the moment passed.

"Thank you," she said again.

Jess grinned. "You gotta quit thanking me," he said. "I'm gonna think I actually did something and then I'll get a swelled head."

"Well we can't have that!" Rory said, glad that he was now taking the initiative to alleviate the tension of the moment.

His smile faded a little though it didn't disappear entirely. "I've got to get going," he said. "I need to get back to Philly by tomorrow afternoon..."

Rory was surprised by the strength of the twinge the thought of him leaving brought on. "Oh," she said. "Oh, of course! Here I am, babbling on and you have places to go!" She opened her arms tentatively, and he leaned in to reciprocate her offered hug. She breathed in his familiar Jess scent, like peppermint and aftershave and just the slightest hint of tobacco (though that last was barely there now compared to her memory), and for a moment everything went away. Her heartache over the breakup faded, her worries about Luke and her mother were eased, and the trivial concerns about the paper, school, whatever else, that were flitting around the back of her mind disappeared. All that mattered right now was Jess's arms around her, the prick of his stubble against her cheek, and a tiny slice of time where she didn't have to worry about all the things she would have to deal with in the near future.

But although the moment seemed to stretch and time seemed to slow down, it was really just that- a moment. And as soon as the hug had begun, it was over. Jess released her and stepped back.

"I'll see you around sometime," he said, turning away to return to the isolation of his car's interior.

She nodded, but found her mouth saying, "Hey, give me a call sometime." He stared at her, dark eyes unreadable. "That's what friends do, right? They call each other."

Understanding, he nodded, the perennial smirk returning to his features. "And it wouldn't hurt to email occasionally," he said.

"Okay. So... we'll talk."

"Right."

"Yeah."

"I... really gotta go," he said, waving a hand vaguely at the car.

Rory nodded. "Yes. You go. Tell Matthew and Chris I said hi, okay?"

Jess got back into the car. The door slammed shut and the engine roared to life. And then he was disappearing, nothing more than a set of tail lights disappearing into the gathering dark.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"Hey kiddo," Lorelai said when Rory walked into the living room and dropped onto the sofa with a heavy sigh. "Christopher filled me in once the elephants dancing on my head went away. How is Logan?"

Rory shrugged. "He had six broken ribs and a punctured lung, but he's going to make a full recovery."

Taking note of her daughter's monotone, Lorelai asked, "And you? How are you?"

She could practically see Rory weighing her words. "I'm... weird."

"Honey, you're gonna have to give me a little more to go on than that. Define weird."

Again, there was a pregnant pause before Rory actually spoke. "He let me go," she said finally. "He just let me walk out the door. I was going to try to stay, try and make it work, because you just can't break up with somebody in that condition! But he wouldn't let me. He knew I wanted out, and he let me. Why would he do that?"

Lorelai's heart went out to her daughter. She immediately scooted down the sofa to sit closer to her and wrapped her arms around the distressed young woman. "I guess Logan was a better guy than I gave him credit for," she said.

Rory didn't cry as Lorelai had expected. She simply leaned her head on her mother's shoulder and didn't speak for some ten minutes, just staring at the wall opposite them. Lorelai rubbed soothing circles on her shoulder with her thumb, waiting patiently for Rory to say whatever else was on her mind.

But patience had never been her strong suit, and when she realized that her daughter wasn't going to speak on her own terms, Lorelai asked hesitantly, "So... Jess drove you to New York?"

"Yeah."

"Wasn't that... I don't know... weird?"

Rory shrugged. "Kind of. I don't really know how to feel about any of it. Jess has grown up so much, it's like I hardly know him anymore. But at the same time, it's like nothing's changed."

Lorelai thought she knew the answer to her next question, but she had to ask it anyway. She had to know where they stood with regards to the J-word. "Rory, honey," she asked hesitantly, "Do you, you know, have feelings for him?"

Closing her eyes, Rory sighed. "Will it really freak you out if I say yes?"

She had suspected as much. "Not as much as it probably should," Lorelai admitted.

"But it's really complicated," Rory rushed to add, once she'd heard her mother's affirmative response. "I mean, there's just so much history there. We've both hurt each other so much, but we've also helped each other. And I just broke things off with Logan and I'm going to be hurting for awhile over that. And he lives so far away and we're just trying to figure out how to be friends right now and... and it's complicated!"

"Oh Rory, I know. No one gets complicated relationships like I do," Lorelai assured her. "But... wow. I mean, even the idea of you and Jess- again- it's just... wow."

Rory nodded. "It's definitely not something I expected. But the truth is, every single time I've seen him over the last few years, it came rushing back. All of it, the good as the bad. And as much as I can't believe I'm going to say this, there was really a lot more good than bad. Some of the best days of my life were that good because Jess made them that way. I just..." She broke off with a sigh.

Lorelai just waited, knowing there was more to Rory's monologue than that. Her patience was rewarded a few seconds later when her daughter continued: "I think a lot of the reason Jess and I didn't work out in high school was that neither of us was ready for it. It was such an intense relationship. He had too many issues and I was too sheltered and too used to someone more reliable to make it work then. But we've both changed a lot. And even with all the heartache... I don't know. I guess maybe someday, once I've had time to process everything, I might be ready to go there again. And I think maybe he is, too. With what happened at Truncheon last week, he has to be, right?"

"Well," Lorelai said after she'd taken a few silent seconds to process all these feelings Rory had never revealed before. "I don't think he could have made his feelings much clearer. Just please make sure you give yourself enough time to really think this through before you start something, okay?"

Rory gave her a watery smile and nodded. Then she excused herself to go take a shower and turn in. As Lorelai watched her go, she sighed. She had no idea how to feel about this new development, but she was suddenly quite certain that it wasn't as new as past confidences had lead her to believe. Clearly, Rory had been harboring more hurt and hope over Jess than she had admitted perhaps even to herself, for quite some time.

She just hoped that this time, things would have a better ending, no matter which way they turned out.

* * *

TBC...  
Most likely on Tuesday. Sorry. But reviews will make me happy nonetheless...


	8. The Diner Boy Confidences

**A/N-** Yeah, sorry, I know I said I'd update Tuesday. But I watched The Bracebridge Dinner and got inspired and absolutely had to write a Lit fic around that episode. Which is now up for your reading enjoyment. And I've also re-discovered how frighteningly awesome Björk is as writing music. To hell with Muse! New writing playlist!  
Anyway, this is set sometime around, maybe a little before "Driving Miss Gilmore."

* * *

_One Week Later..._

Dear Jess,

Was your drive okay? I hope you've arrived home safely. Say hello to Matt and Chris for and  
April got home yesterday. It's very weird. Things are just _weird_. He's gone back to  
sleeping above the diner. And it's making me worry. Mom doesn't say anything about it, but  
I can see that she's really freaked out by the whole thing. Then again, I don't need to tell you  
that. You saw the drunken toast. What's your take on the whole mess?

In other news, Lane and Zach left for their wedding yesterday, and Mrs. Kim has been wigging  
out ever since. It's quite amusing, actually. More than one customer has come out of the  
antique shop looking terrified and with a notable lack of any merchandise. Then again, that's  
not so unusual.

-Sincerely, Rory

Rory,

The drive was fine. Could've done without driving through a thunderstorm. Matt and Chris say  
hello back, and are currently clamoring for all the minute details of your life. I fail to understand  
why. My friends are insane.

About Luke and Lorelai... I honestly don't know. Luke's an idiot. And that's really all I have to  
say on that subject.

With regards to Mrs. Kim, I repeat my earlier sentiments: Mrs. Kim scares _everybody_.

Business is booming here at Truncheon. I can't believe I'm actually saying that, but it's true. The  
open house gave us a chance to make us a lot of new contacts. We've actually got four books  
and one anthology of poetry in the pipe now. It doesn't sound like much, but for a place like  
Truncheon, it's huge.

-J

Dear Jess,

Haha, you've always had a penchant for crazy people. You put up with living in Stars Hollow for  
two years, didn't you? For a big city boy, that's something of an achievement! And feel free to  
tell your friends anything you like about me.

Though, on second thought, that might make them hate me. I have done many, many stupid  
things in my life. At the very least, leave out the yacht-stealing. That was unquestionably one  
of the dumbest things I've ever done.

And Jess? I'm proud of you. You've done such a huge thing with Truncheon, and every time I  
think of it, I just want to run around telling everyone "I told you so." I knew you would do  
something like this! I'm so glad to hear you guys are doing well. Four books, huh? Anything  
I'd be interested in? Stupid question. They're books. Of course I'd be interested. And speaking  
of which- any chance there's a follow-up to _The Subsect_ coming any time soon? I read it for  
the eighteenth time yesterday, and every time I find something new to love about it. So tell  
me: are you working on anything new?

-Sincerely, Rory

Rory,

Ah, yes. The yacht-stealing incident. You mentioned that the night of the open house, and I've  
been meaning to ask about it, but I kept getting distracted. So... any chance you'll tell me what  
exactly happened?

Thanks for your confidence in me. I meant it all those months ago when I said I couldn't have  
done it without you. You were my inspiration for getting my life together. Even though that  
sounds extremely cheesy and ridiculous, it's still true.

But that doesn't mean that I'm telling you anything about my writing! You're getting the same  
answer the guys do when they bug me about it. That is, I'm not telling you _anything_. You'll  
just have to wait and see.

-J

Dear Jess,

Ugh, I don't even want to _remember_ the thing with the yacht, let alone talk about it! Chalk it up  
to one of the many insane and stupid things I did when I was with Logan. It's funny how those  
words come up every time I talk about that relationship. Insane. Stupid. It was. I was. But you  
know what the weird thing is? I don't regret it. I'm glad it's over, but I don't regret it. I learned  
a lot about life. But I don't think I'll be going back to that particular kind of life anytime soon!

Mean! You don't get to say totally sweet things like that (okay, yes they are a little cheesy as well)  
and then not tell me what (if?) you're writing. No, not if. The words "wait and see" imply that you  
_are_ writing something. You're just trying to be enigmatic. And succeeding frustratingly well.

I got a call from Lane yesterday. From what I understand, the honeymoon isn't going too well.  
She didn't say much, but I know Lane. And sadly, she began using a few of her mother's  
phrases. The words "man's expectations" came up several times.

And while we're speaking of good friends, Paris is having a full-on meltdown. Finals are coming  
up and... well, you know Paris. I should probably go. She's having a paper-bag facilitated crisis.

-Sincerely, Rory

Rory,

Fine. Alright. Yes, I'm writing. But that's all you're getting out of me, and I will have you know  
that it's a great deal more than anybody's been able to convince me to divulge thus far. Consider  
yourself privileged.

I'm sure Lane will work it out. She wouldn't be Lane Kim if she couldn't.

And yes, I do know Paris. Insane girl. But as you pointed out awhile back, I guess I do deserve  
the Congressional medal of honor when it comes to dealing with insane people. After all, I once  
agreed to try and get along with Lorelai, didn't I?

Speaking of Lorelai, how are things with her and Luke? Let me know, will you?

-J

Jess read through the last few days of email correspondence between himself and Rory, frowning slightly as he did so. He hadn't been able to touch what she'd said in the first paragraph of her last email. The subject of Logan Huntzberger was still an uncomfortable one for him. Finally, he gave up trying to find something to say, and just sent the message. As he did so, he wondered again how things were between his uncle and Lorelai Gilmore.

Finally, he realized that he wasn't going to be able to wait for Rory's second-hand take on the topic when she got around to replying to his email. Jess jumped to his feet decisively, and grabbed the cordless phone from where Matt had left it lying on the sofa. He quickly punched in the number of the diner, which he was mildly disturbed to note that he knew by heart.

A few rings, and then Luke's voice responded with a gruff, "Luke's Diner."

"Luke, hey. It's Jess."

"Hi Jess. How--"

He cut him off before Luke could say another word. "You're an idiot."

"I... what?"

"You heard me. You're an idiot. This whole thing with April... you don't see how it's affecting Lorelai, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Jess sighed. "I was at Lane's wedding. I saw her insane drunken toast, okay? She's really freaked out!"

"What drunken toast?"

"Oh, nobody told you? I'm surprised. She went on this rant about how she's never gonna get married and something about June third and I don't know what else. But you better do something. Talk to her."

Luke sputtered in outrage. "Listen, just because you're all grown up now doesn't give you the right to comment on--"

Once again, Jess interrupted him. "I'm trying to help you!" he half-yelled. "Luke, you've been in love with Lorelai the whole time I've known you. And trust me, if you don't talk to her now, you're going to lose her."

When he replied, Luke sounded calmer, but he was far from placated. "How would you know?" he demanded.

"Because..." Jess hesitated, wondering if this was something he really wanted to divulge. But then, this was Luke, who was practically his father in all important senses of the word. "Because I know what it's like to love a Gilmore girl and lose her. You're about to make the same mistake I did, let other stuff come between you when you should be opening up to her instead. Don't do what I did."

There was dead silence on the other end of the line. Finally, Luke mumbled, "Thanks, Jess. You're a good kid."

Jess shrugged. "Yeah."

"So..."

"I'll see you around."

"Sure."

Jess said his goodbyes and hung up. It didn't help calm his restless mind, but at least he felt now like he'd done something instead of letting Luke's situation boil over on its own. There wasn't anything more he could do, but maybe it would help. If only his own problems were as easy to sort through...

* * *

TBC...  
Sorry about the lack of R/J interaction in this chapter. Next time, 'kay? And that might come sooner if I had some "incentives"...


	9. Picking a Date

**A/N-** I've been having some issues with the JavaJunkie parts of this, mainly because, although I love the pairing, the only JJ I read is as a secondary pairing in a Lit fic. Which is probably very bad of me, because I'm not sure quite how to write it. That's why the delay in the update. Sorry. The JJ part of this chapter is set at the very beginning of "Partings" when Lorelai comes home from Sookie's.

* * *

"Lorelai?"

Very nearly, she just turned around and walked away when she found Luke sitting on her sofa. But when she realized that she was suddenly thinking of it as "her" sofa again, rather than "their" sofa, she knew that she needed to talk to him about... something. She wasn't sure what, but something was broken between them, and she wanted so badly to fix it. The only way to do that was to talk. And as terrifying as the idea of rationally discussing her feelings was, they might as well do this now, she supposed.

Plastering a smile that an idiot could see was false onto her face, she said, "Hi, Luke!"

"I came by last night, but you weren't here," he said. The question was implicit.

She sighed imperceptibly. "Yeah, I was at Sookie's and fell asleep on her couch..." She didn't know if it was Luke's obliviousness or tact that prevented him from calling her on her very obvious lie. Either way, she was glad of it. "Uh, Luke, I--"

"We need to talk," he said.

The part of her that didn't want to say what she had to say was screaming at her to stall. "Is that a good "we need to talk" or a bad "we need to talk?" Because most of the time it's bad and conversations that start that way are always really weird and awkward and I--"

"Lorelai!" he exclaimed, interrupting her before she could get started. With a sigh, she dropped onto the sofa next to him.

"What do you want to talk about, Luke?"

He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I, uh, I know about the toast. At Lane's wedding," he said.

She felt her stomach drop, wondering who had told him. Miss Patty had done such a good job of spreading the alternate story around! "Oh," she mumbled.

Luke sighed. "Lorelai, do you really think we won't get married?"

With an effort, she nodded miserably.

"Oh jeez," he muttered under his breath. "Look, when you asked me to marry you, it was... I don't know how to say it, okay, so bear with me. Lorelai, I love you. I want to marry you. I _will_ marry you, soon. When I said yes to you, I meant it. And I guess I know things have been weird with April, but maybe I've been trying to pretend that whatever it means to us... isn't there. That there is no problem. But if you're this upset, I guess there is."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

For a moment, he just looked at her. "You're never this quiet," he said sadly. "Look, I still need some time to figure out how to deal with this whole April thing, but... maybe we could pick a new date? How about sometime this winter? I know you love the snow."

And suddenly, everything felt a whole lot better. But there was still one more thing she needed to sort through. "That sounds amazing. And, um, I want to meet her."

"Who? April?"

"Yes. I want to meet her."

He hesitated just a second, then nodded. "Okay. I'll talk to her about that."

Lorelai smiled. How could she have woken up this morning thinking that her relationship with Luke was doomed? She threw her arms around him in an exuberant hug. "Thank you, Luke!" he exclaimed. He put his arm around her shoulder and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of her head. For a few moments, they stayed like that. Then Lorelai pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. "Hey Luke?" she asked deviously. "Who told you about that toast?"

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"Quiz me."

"What?"

"Quiz me. My biochemistry final is in eleven hours! Quiz me!"

Rory sighed. "Paris, I have already quizzed you for three different classes today. Including your statistical algebra final, which was actually _yesterday_."

"What?" the neurotic blonde exclaimed, looking panicked. "That was yesterday? Did I go?"

Doyle looked up from the sofa, where he had been sitting and wearing a thoroughly amused expression throughout the exchange. "Yes, Paris, you went to your final," he assured her in a bland tone that would have made Michel proud. "Probably did phenomenally."

Paris looked at him, a hazy smile briefly replacing the crazed look on her face. Then her gaze returned to Rory and she handed Rory a set of flashcards and a notebook full of her spiky, tiny handwriting. "Quiz me," she demanded again.

Luckily, Rory was saved from the unnecessary task by the ringing of her cell phone. Immediately recognizing the ringtone as "Manic Monday" by the Bangles, she said, "It's my mom. It might be important."

Her roommate gave her a look that couldn't decide if it was a stare or a glare. "It's your _mother_," she pointed out. "Lorelai Gilmore never calls about _important_ things!"

Stepping out of the room, Rory very pointedly pulled the door shut behind her. Then she answered the phone. "Hello mother dearest," she said.

"Your boyfriend is in _so_ much trouble."

"Uh... what? Mom, Logan and me are over, remember? I have no boyfriend."

"Says the girl who was making moon eyes at Luke's nephew in the yard just last week."

"Ack!" Rory exclaimed. "I was _not_ making "moon eyes" at him! I'm never telling you anything again!"

"So rude to the woman who gave birth to you. Maybe I won't tell you what I'm talking about, either!"

Curiosity officially piqued, Rory said, "Okay, I give. I promise I'll tell you each and every thing that happens to me. This morning, I woke up, turned off the alarm clock, thought about worm holes as a method of travel for an inordinate amount of time--"

"Doyle having another bout of science fiction addiction?"

"Yep."

"Say no more. I no longer want to hear all the details of your daily life."

"Very prudent. So what's Jess done to make you so mad at him?"

Lorelai giggled. "Oh, I'm not _mad_. In fact, with the way it all turned out, I might actually be nice to him next time I see him. But he broke a very sacred Stars Hollow rule."

"Which is?"

Stumped, Lorelai said, "Don't... um... contradict rumors that were carefully contrived for the purpose of concealing certain incidents from your mother's fiancée?"

"You made that up on the spot. So he told Luke about the insane drunken toast?"

Lorelai grinned. "Exactly! You can sense exactly what I was going to say! Our psychic link grows strong."

Rory smiled, guessing at her mother's expression at that exact moment. "Or you're just obvious."

"Ah! How dare you suggest that I am anything less than complex and subtle?"

"I'll chose not to answer that."

"Smart kid," Lorelai said, still with a smile painted across her face. "Apparently he called Luke yesterday and told him to talk to me. Luke came over this morning and did it. We're going to set a new date for the wedding!"

A weight lifted off Rory's chest. She'd been trying not to dwell about the difficulties she'd sensed between Luke and her mother, but it had been difficult, and it was good to know that the two were making progress on their own. Sort of. There did seem to have been some outside involvement, and Rory's contented smile widened as she thought about the catalyst for the change. Jess had gone and done an amazing thing here. If she'd needed any more proof that he was a radically different man (she didn't), this was it.

"That's great!" she exclaimed. "When are you thinking of?"

"Luke suggested sometime this winter, because- get this- because I love the snow."

"Aw, that's adorable!" Rory said.

"Isn't it? I've been thinking late December, or maybe early January, because once you get too close to February everything gets melty and slushy and the snow isn't pretty anymore..."

❤ * ❤ * ❤

He answered on the second ring. "Truncheon Books." Rory didn't even need the obligatory "Jess Mariano speaking" to recognize his voice.

"You," she said teasingly, "are a huge softie."

"Rory," he said, and she could hear the smirk in his voice. "What are you talking about?"

She leaned back against her headboard, looking at the ceiling and still wearing the grin that hadn't dropped off her face since her mother's phone call. "You fixed it!" she exclaimed. "Luke and my mom! You fixed them."

When he replied, she could tell that, although he was trying to hide it, he was quite pleased. "Oh, nah, I just mentioned that she seemed upset. Just, you know, in passing."

"No way," Rory said. "No way you can wriggle out of this one, Mariano. You're officially the hero of the story. Again. You just seem to be fixing _everything_ lately. When did you turn into the responsible one?"

"Around the same time I wrote a really crappy novel?" he joked.

She laughed, but said in a sincere tone, "Don't call it crappy! It was amazing and you know it. There were a few things that could have been altered just a little, but it was still one of the best books I've read in ages. But that's not the point. The point is, they're setting a wedding date!"

"Huh."

"Don't sound so pleased with yourself," she teased.

"I'll try not to."

There was a brief silence, during which Rory tried desperately to keep the conversation going. She really didn't have anything else vital to talk to Jess about, but over the last couple of weeks exchanging emails and having the occasional phone conversation, she had remembered how good it was just to _talk_ to him. Every time they'd encountered each other between his departure for California and their painful reunion at Truncheon two and a half weeks ago, their words had been filled with bitterness and awkward tension. But now Rory was remembering how easy it could be to just have hours of conversation with him about anything and everything.

"So," she said, trying to pull a topic out of thin air. "You said you guys have some new books coming out. Anything interesting?"

"They're all pretty decent. Nothing stellar, but there's this funky stream-of-consciousness thing by some guy Chris discovered that you might like."

"Ooh, let me know when you get it out."

"Will do. Oh, and _The Subsect_ is getting a reprint."

Rory sat up a little straighter in surprise. "Really? Jess, that's amazing."

He laughed, and once again, she was struck by comparison. Three years ago, Jess's laughter was a rare occurrence, but she'd heard him laugh more in the last few weeks than in the entire rest of the time she'd known him. "So suddenly everything I do is amazing, huh?"

"Don't kid yourself," she joked. "But... yeah. You've started a really incredible thing. I always knew you could do something like this."

"Yeah, I think you've said," he said in a dry tone, but Rory could tell that he was glad to have her approval.

She leaned back against the pillow again. "So are you gonna send some more copies to Black, White and Read? Because once people realized that it was written by somebody they actually knew, it sold out in about two days."

"I know," he said. "Matt couldn't believe it."

"Such a good friend," she said sarcastically.

"You're telling me. I have to live with the guy."

"Well, I don't know him all that well, but from what I've seen? I pity you."

At that moment, Paris screeched through the closed bedroom door, "Gilmore, I really need your help here! I'm going to fail my biochem final if you don't get out here and quiz me!"

Jess asked tentatively, "Is that Paris?"

"You heard right."

"Ooh." She could almost see him wincing.

"Yeah."

"Guess we're both the victims of neurotic roommates lately."

"It looks like it. I have to go. She's going to leave Yale as a smoking, radioactive hole in the ground if I don't do something about her soon. Although," she mused, "that might derail the plans for the stupid Rory Building..."

"The what?"

She laughed. "Oh, typical grandparent insanity. I'll tell you some other time." With great reluctance, she ended the call.

* * *

TBC...  
And even though this chapter does feel like filler, I did say that I was going to give Rory time to get over Logan, didn't I? And hey, there's JJ for you, so that's all good...


	10. The Long Morrow, Mark Two

**A/N-** I really despise writer's block. A bad batch has been going around lately. As a result, this chapter? Yeah, it sucks. But although I have a pretty clear idea of where this story is going to END UP, I'm not 100% certain how I will GET THERE. So this chapter is basically squeezed out like the last little bit of toothpaste out of the tube.

Also, now that I'm thinking about "The Long Morrow," I'm gonna have to point out that that whole anecdote from The Twilight Zone? Yeah, doesn't fit Logan. At all. You know who WAITED for Rory for a VERY LONG TIME? Think brooding. Think books. Think crazy hair. Do not think blonde rich asshole. Literati fans were screaming during this episode. And every subsequent episode.

* * *

"Your mom said you might be traveling in Asia," Lulu said, a question in her voice.

Gypsy shot the other woman an incredulous look. "She's not in Asia," she pointed out.

"I didn't know you were going to Asia!" Miss Patty exclaimed.

"Well, that, uh, that was actually something I was going to do with Logan, but we're not together anymore, so that plan sort of fell through," Rory said. As always, it was a little uncomfortable to discuss the intimate details of her life with the townsfolk, but after twenty years she was more or less used to it. And, surprisingly, talking about Logan didn't hurt as much as it had even a few days before. It seemed like that entire phase of her life had just been truncated. It was over, and that was that. And somehow she didn't mind very much.

Miss Patty laid a sympathetic hand on Rory's arm. "Oh I am _so_ sorry to hear that!" she exclaimed. "How are you doing, honey?"

Rory smiled, and it was absolutely sincere. "I'm fine. Thanks, Patty. So, what's going on here?" She gestured at the blue tarp hanging from the lamppost and the crowd of people beneath it.

"Taylor's putting a camera on the traffic light," Lulu informed her.

"Big Brother is watching," Gypsy said dryly.

Taylor launched into a long-winded speech about the shortcomings of small-town law enforcement, during which Gypsy felt it was necessary to make a smattering of sarcastic comments. Finally, Miss Patty stepped to the curb and waved the Stars Hollow version of a checkered flag. Revving the engine of Taylor's car, Kirk steered down the street.

After that, everything happened very quickly. The camera's flash went off, Kirk swerved, and the next thing Rory knew, the front wall of Luke's was exploding inward in a shower of glass and mortar.

Kirk leapt out of the car. "I'm okay! I'm okay!" he shouted, waving his arms.

Despite the gravity of situation, Rory had to bite back laughter at the expression on Luke's face as he emerged from behind the counter.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"So, how's Luke doing?" Rory asked. "With the whole... diner... car... thing?"

Lorelai glanced up at her from where she was sitting on the bottom stair, tugging on a pair of leather boots. "Well, yesterday he was too busy being furious with Taylor to really be coherent, but I gather that he's fine. Interested in going to get some coffee?"

"Where? Luke's is closed."

"Ah, yes, but that doesn't mean we can't make him make us coffee anyway."

"Fringe benefits of being engaged to the owner?"

"Reason I proposed."

"Of course."

"So what are we waiting for? Let's get going!"

Rory looked dubiously at her mother. "You're still sitting down. I've been ready to go for five minutes."

"Well, I'm sitting on the floor. Help me up?"

Lorelai held up her arms pathetically. Rory sighed and took her mother's hands and leaned back to pull her to her feet. "Alright, now let's _go_. Now that you've said it, I really want coffee."

Together, the Gilmores walked across town to Luke's, which still resembled a disaster zone, although the glass and splinters of wood and plaster had been swept from the floor. Luke looked up as the bell over the door tinkled with incongruous merriment. "Oh, hey," he said distractedly, giving them a cursory glance before returning to the measurements he was conducting. Lorelai pouted for a moment, then crept up on him and pulled him into an unexpected kiss.

"Ah jeez!" came a voice from the stairway. "Get a room, you two!"

Rory whipped around to see the owner of the voice who had just pushed aside the curtain. An unexpected flutter of happiness in her stomach was quickly squashed. There was no possible way he was here- he couldn't be! Except... he was.

Jess held up a hand to shield himself from the sight of his uncle locking lips with Lorelai. He shot an amused glance at Rory, who was suddenly trying to regain her sense of balance. "Are they done yet?" he asked.

"Yep," she said. Jess lowered his hand and discovered, to his horror, that they were not.

"Agh!" he exclaimed, turning firmly away from them. "You are _evil_!"

Rory grinned. "I've been told," she said, crossing the diner to stand across the counter from him. "What are you doing in Stars Hollow?"

He shrugged. "Liz called. Told me about the diner. I thought I'd lend a hand with the repairs."

"Aw, look at you, being Mr. Thoughtful," she said.

"Hey, I had to come up anyway," he protested. "I've got the second edition of _The Subsect_ to bring up to the bookstore. Oh god, second edition. That sounds weird."

"That it does." Casting a look over her shoulder, she said, "I think you can turn around now. They're really done this time." Jess leaned against the counter, propping himself up on his elbows to talk to her. Before he could get a word in, however, she said, "Your hair is different."

Thrown, he asked, "What?"

"The last couple of times I've seen you, your hair has been all slicked down. You've got it gelled up all crazy today, like you used to."

He shrugged. "That was my this-is-important-and-I-want-to-make-a-good-impression hair. This is my- Oh my god they're at it again! Luke! Lorelai! Stop it!"

Lorelai finally relinquished Luke and sauntered over to the counter. "Your hair is different," she commented.

Jess dropped his face into his hands, shaking his head in resignation. When he looked up, though, he was wearing a smirk that looked suspiciously like a smile. "Yeah. We were just saying," he muttered, in an attempt to maintain his air of disgust. The almost-smile remained, however.

"So," Lorelai said.

"So," Jess replied uncomfortably.

"I've decided not to kill you," she announced.

"Good to know."

"You've actually turned into a decent human being. I think that might linger on my conscience for a couple of days."

Jess continued to fight a smile. "I've heard that can happen."

"Jess is actually here to help Luke fix up the diner," Rory interjected.

"And drop off the reprint of the book with Andrew!" he protested.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, because FedEx would clash with the starving artist image," Rory quipped.

He shrugged. "It costs money to ship a box of books," he pointed out.

"And the gas to drive here from Philadelphia doesn't?" Lorelai asked.

Rory turned to her mother, a smile on her lips. "Face it, he's just never going to admit to doing a nice thing solely because it's nice."

"Like you said," Jess said, "it would clash with the image."

At that moment, TJ stepped through the gigantic hole in the wall. "Hey, Luke!" he exclaimed. "I brought coffee." Suddenly noticing the other people in the room, he beamed. "Lorelai! Rory! Good to see you!"

"Coffee?" Lorelai gasped. "You're bringing coffee from outside into Luke's? Blasphemy!"

TJ raised an eyebrow, not picking up on Lorelai's joking tone. "Hey, I'm painting, aren't I? I just stopped by the diner, okay? Chill," he said defensively.

"What diner?" Luke asked, sounding apprehensive and preemptively angry.

"The one across the street," TJ said as if it were pathetically obvious. "Kirk's. Great place- owner's a real character and the coffee's fantastic. I got some for us."

"I don't believe this!" Luke exclaimed, striding to the door and flinging it open. He hurried out, trailed by a very confused TJ.

Lorelai watched them disappear with amusement all over her face. "Well," she said, turning back to the counter, "_this_ promises only entertainment. And the prospect of being able to see Kirk and Luke get in a fistfight. Ten dollars says that Kirk has secret ninjutsu skills which he has honed for years in secret."

"Secret? In this town?" Jess scoffed.

"Oh ye of little faith!" Lorelai exclaimed. "This town has many secrets!"

"Such as?"

"Well, for one, Luke didn't know thing one about my drunken toast until a certain skinny, crazy-haired _someone_ decided to phone him up and narc on me," she said pointedly.

Jess didn't reply, meeting her gaze steadily with a slight smirk playing across his face.

"I think that's his way of pleading the fifth," Rory interpreted. "It's that never-confess-to-being-nice thing again."

"Indubitably, sir," Lorelai replied. "I'd better go, before my fiancée beats Kirk to a pulp."

"I thought we were betting that Kirk would win if it came to blows," Jess said ironically. Lorelai glowered at him, then turned and walked serenely out of the diner. "Well, that's nice," he said, turning back to Rory. "She only wants to maim me now."

"Maiming is a nice step down from killing," Rory pointed out.

"Ah, but how will I cope with the blow to my image?"

Rory shrugged. "Jess, I think your image is already shot. It's too late. Surrender."

"Never."

"Figured you'd say that."

"You know me too well."

Rory fell silent then, a pensive look on her face.

"What?" Jess asked.

She looked up at him. "I was just thinking," she said slowly. "You were right, you know? When you said that you know me better than anybody. You do. Better even than my mom sometimes. But I really don't know you at all. I understand you, but I really don't know that much _about _you. It was something I always wondered about. Who were you before you came to Stars Hollow? What made Jess Mariano who he is?"

Fighting a suspicion that this was a very bad conversation to be getting into right now, she held his gaze.

He sighed. "It's a long story," he said, and she could see immediately that he was closing down. Just like he always did. And suddenly, she realized that she didn't want him to. Not again.

"No," she said firmly. "You don't get to shut me out any more. I'm not saying you have to tell me right now. I'm just saying... you can open up to me. If you want to."

"Okay," he said simply and sincerely.

As their eyes met across the counter, Rory once again felt an intense surge of emotion towards him. Even though she was terrified of the whole situation, suddenly it didn't seem to matter. The past didn't matter, because it was in fact _the past_. He had hurt her, and she had hurt him, and to hell with it all, she decided. The only thing that was important right now, in this instant, was Jess.

She leaned across the counter and pressed her lips to his.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

"What is this?" Luke asked, staring at the paper Kirk had handed him.

"It's a job application," Kirk stated as if it were obvious. "The way business is picking up, I'm totally gonna need a fry guy. And from what you said, it sounded like your finances were kind of--"

Sensing danger, Lorelai placed herself between the two of them. "Okay, Kirk, thank you very much, and I'm sure Luke is very appreciative of your generous offer, but he's gonna have to think about it, 'kay?" She took Luke's hand to placate him. "Luke, honey, what do you say we go, huh?"

Leading her fuming fiancée away by the hand, she caught sight of Jess and Rory in the diner, talking intently. Part of her wanted to rush in and interrupt their conversation. The other part of her knew that whatever was going on between them, they would need to work out free of interruptions. As she saw her daughter lean in to kiss Jess, she decided to trust the latter instinct. "Luke, I think we should take a walk," she said.

"Huh?" he asked.

Lorelai jerked her head in the direction of the diner. Catching sight of the lip-locked pair, Luke's eyes widened. "I... oh," he mumbled. "Lorelai, what's going--"

"Shh," she said. "I'll explain everything to you while we walk. Far, _far_ away from here."

* * *

TBC...  
Hopefully sooner than this update.


	11. He Has His Rory Back

**A/N-** Sorry, it's been awhile. I got caught up in the miracle that was the last two episodes of Volume 5 of Heroes, and I guess I just lost sight of my Literati fangirling underneath Perfect Pemma (which, frankly, is the CUTEST SHIP EVER!!!!!). And now I've got a long-term fic I'm working on for Heroes (well, another one), but I promise to get the last two chapters of this out in a timely manner. And then, of course, there is the SEQUEL!! Yay for sequel...

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to the fabulous and amazing **luvtheheaven** who made an incredible trailer for this fic. Thank you so much!  
Just tack this tag onto the end of the YouTube web address to see it (because FFN is anal about links): /watch?v=gcKEXD8KDpI

* * *

Jess's mind took an entire eight seconds to catch up to his body to comprehend that Rory was kissing him. Rory. Was. Kissing. _Him_. He knew he should stop this cold. He should stop this right now. He was undoubtedly going to pay for this with torment and sleepless nights when he was back in Philadelphia and she was out of his life again (because he couldn't kid himself into believing their newly forged friendship would survive something like this). But her tongue ran across his lower lip and he couldn't make himself pull away.

It wasn't until he tried to pull her closer only to discover the counter in their way that they finally broke apart.

"Huh," he said, voice husky and desperately trying to conceal the fact that his heart was beating hard enough to make him literally feel lightheaded. "Could've picked a better location for that, couldn't you?" He gestured at the counter that had impeded the kiss's progress.

She bit her lip, blushing, and god it was hard not to pull her right back to him and to hell with the consequences later! He counted himself lucky, though, that she hadn't run away this time.

"I... guess maybe that was a bad idea," she said. He could swear his heart skipped a beat in panic. Maybe it showed on his face (he hoped not, he liked to think that he was still as inscrutable as always), because Rory rushed on. "No, I don't mean it like that. It's just, my timing was awful."

Wait, was she seriously saying what he thought she was saying? "Our timing has always been bad," he said carefully.

She nodded, smiling involuntarily at his comment. "Jess, I don't really know what to say here. Every time I see you, it feels like no time has passed at all and I'm a crazy teenager again and practically having palpitations just from being around you and it kind of terrifies me. But I'm sick of running away because I'm afraid. You and me... it never feels like we're finished, you know? I never got closure, and I never got over you. I moved on, but I never got over you, and I guess it's just... I'm ready. There are going to be issues, obviously. We've both hurt each other a lot, and we'll have to deal with it. But that is all really just the past, for the most part. We've both changed a lot. I want to take the chance." At that instant, something seemed to occur to her. "That is... if you do?"

He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at her in shock before she cleared her throat and said, "Jess, some feedback would be nice here."

"Oh. Yeah," he said, pinching himself surreptitiously on the arm to make sure this was real. "I... I guess you knew what to say after all."

Rory glared at him. "Not what I meant," she mumbled.

Jess ran a hand through his hair, suddenly nervous despite her earlier words. "Rory, I think I made my feelings for you pretty clear at the open house. I'm crazy about you, always have been. Believe me, there is nothing I'd like more than another shot at being with you."

A bright smile finally appeared on her face, and Jess realized suddenly that she'd been genuinely unsure of his reaction to her rambling declaration. He pondered how ludicrous that was for a moment. He couldn't picture a day when he wouldn't jump at a chance to _have_ a chance with her.

"Good," she said simply.

Before either of them could say or do anything more, TJ stepped into the diner, causing the bell over the door to ding cheerily. "Who wants chips and guac?" he asked jovially.

Rory glanced at him, and he said, "Actually, we were just going to take a walk."

"Oh," TJ said, still annoyingly cheerful and clearly oblivious to the bizarre atmosphere he had walked into. "Okay. You sure you won't change your mind?"

"We're sure," Rory said, giving Jess a grateful look.

As they walked out of the diner, she slipped her hand into his. Jess felt like he could fly.

❤ * ❤ * ❤

Somehow, they found their way to the bridge.

"How prosaic," Jess mumbled. "Why do we always end up here?"

"I don't know, we've had some good times here," Rory said, a strange tone in her voice. When he glanced at her, he saw that she was turning red. He guessed that she was remembering a few of the same close encounters he was.

Rory plopped down on the bridge, the bottoms of her sneakers just brushing the surface of the water as she dangled her legs off the edge. He sat down beside her, looking out at the secluded area surrounding them. Without even looking at her, he could literally _feel_ her presence like a magnetic pull. He glanced at her and caught her eyes darting away from him as he did so. "I think we're allowed to look at each other," he teased.

She flushed an even brighter red. Jess loved it when she blushed.

"Yeah, I know, it's just..."

"It doesn't seem to have really sunk in, yet, right?"

"Exactly."

There was a moment of comfortably charged silence before Rory wrapped her arm around his waist. He put his own arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. For a few minutes they sat like that and Jess allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of having her close to him at last. But as much as he wanted to postpone it and push it aside, there was something they had to do.

"Rory," he said slowly.

"Hm?"

"We should... we should probably talk about it. Our history. Nobody wants to just shove it under the rug as much as I do, but avoiding the past issues is a bad way to start this out. And over the last month, we've talked about pretty much everything _but_ that. We need to clear the air."

She shifted out from under his arm and for a moment he was afraid she was pulling away. But instead she simply pulled her legs back up onto the bridge and sat facing him, legs crossed Indian-style. He smiled inwardly. When they'd been together, she'd never been the one to pull away; why was he surprised that that, at least, hadn't changed? "Okay," she said decisively. "That's probably best. Where do we start?"

"I guess we can start with the fact that I lied to you."

"What?"

"The black eye the night I met your grandmother. It wasn't a football," he confessed. "I got attacked by a swan." Rory stared at him, and he noticed with some chagrin that she was trying not to smile. Trying, and failing. "It isn't funny," he said defensively.

She chuckled. "Sure it isn't. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I don't really know. I was screwed up back then, Rory. I did a lot of stupid things and I made big deals out of nothing."

Rory nodded. "You did. We both made a lot of mistakes."

"Right. Let's try to avoid that in the future, 'kay?"

"Sounds good," she agreed. She bit her lip, then rushed on. "Okay, Jess, I have to ask it: why didn't you _talk_ to me? Why didn't you at least tell me you were leaving? It seems stupid, but I always wondered if maybe it was because of what happened at Kyle's party--"

"Oh god, Rory, no!" Jess interrupted. "That was another dumb mistake on my part. I was upset that night, and I didn't know how to tell you I wasn't graduating. But as for why I didn't talk to you... yeah, we were fighting, but mostly I didn't want to see your face when I told you. And I think I thought a clean break would be better for both of us. No messy goodbyes."

She fiddled nervously with the ends of her hair. "It made it harder," she said plainly. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but it did. I never got any closure with you, and it made it impossible for me to let it go."

"You sounded pretty over it on the phone," Jess said. His tone wasn't accusing, merely curious.

Rory sighed. "A lot of the things I said and did around then were to convince people that you hadn't hurt me as badly as you did. To convince me, too. I thought maybe if I said it enough times, I would believe it eventually. And maybe a part of me was thinking that if you ever did come back, the town wouldn't hate you as much as they would if I'd completely lost it the way I wanted to."

He nodded. There was nothing he could really say to that. "I still think it was probably for the best that I did leave, though," he said. "I was falling apart, and you were pretty much the only reason I hadn't run a long time before. It was better that you didn't see my breakdown."

"It was that bad?" she questioned gently.

"Like I said, I was messed up," Jess said. "I didn't know how to deal. So I just... ran. Went to stay with my dad for a couple months."

"Is _that_ where you went?" Rory asked incredulously. Luke had always been very skittish about mentioning the topic of Jess within her hearing, and she had never had the courage to bring it up herself.

Jess nodded. "Yeah. I lived with Jimmy out in California for awhile. That was... weird. After that I traveled around for awhile, hopped busses all over the place, worked when I needed cash. And then I was back on the East Coast and got a call from Liz about my car, so I figured I'd come back for that so I could stop paying bus fare..."

"And we know what happened then."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Rory, I always wondered... if I had stuck around that night, at the Firelight Festival thing... what would have happened? Would it have fixed anything?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea," she said. "I was so confused. After you said... what you said, I was sort of torn between wanting to smack you and wanting to kiss you. It's just... every single time you've come into my life, I start falling for you all over again and it's always been too much, you know? I would get scared and I would bolt, and then I would regret it once you were gone again."

He nodded (his neck was getting sore from all the mute nodding he found himself doing). There wasn't any other response, but he was starting to see that Rory hadn't escaped from their past encounters as unscathed as he'd previously thought.

"But I'm done running, like I said," she affirmed. "This, you and me, I think a part of me has always known that the story was never over."

That statement, combined with the slight smile on her face, was just too much for Jess and crossed the space between them and kissed her fiercely. Her fingers crept around the back of his neck and buried themselves in his hair as she pulled him closer. Every nerve in his body was on fire as they knelt together on the bridge, trying to make up for three years of lost time between them with a single kiss. It would never be enough, in Jess's opinion.

Eventually, they broke apart, both of them grinning like fools. "I could get used to that," Jess said, not even bothering to hide how absurdly happy he was in this moment.

Rory looked up at him, and her blue eyes held a look he could only classify as contentment. "You want to do something tonight?" she asked. "After Luke finishes using you as a pack mule or a hobby horse or whatever it is you need to fix a diner, I mean."

He laughed, caught off-guard (for perhaps the ten millionth time in his life) by her odd brand of communication. "Absolutely," he replied. "Speaking of which, I'm guessing Luke will have finished putting Kirk in the hospital by now, so I should probably be heading back."

"I guess so," she said, a slight pout on her face. "So... let's go."

They walked away from the bridge with their complications put behind them, their hands intertwined, and broad smiles on their faces. Well, Rory was smiling. Jess was trying unconvincingly to keep his face composed. Oh, damn it, he was smiling, and right now he could care less who saw it. He had his Rory back.

* * *

_TBC...  
Sooner this time... _


	12. Inflammatory

**A/N-** Okay, I know I said sooner, but can you blame me? I've been caught up in end-of-term stuff, and trying to deal with Calculus (and Laura is NOT being helpful, being all smug about taking it a year before me AND doing it better...! GAH! *gives sister-cousin a hate glare*) and all this other stuff and The Last of the Mohicans ate my soul... Well, needless to say I've been busy. Natty Bumppo just needs to go die in a hole or something.

In other news, though, I did take Laura's recommendation that Pavement makes great muse music and lo and behold, she was RIGHT! Date With IKEA might be one of the more awesome songs ever.

* * *

Rory squeezed Jess's hand gently as they crossed the square, very much _not_ under scrutiny by the oh-so-innocently-occupied-and-totally-not-staring townspeople. "Well, so much for privacy," she said sadly, but still unable to keep a small smile from her face.

"Guess that's what you get when you decide to make out with me in a public building with no front wall," Jess replied before shooting a glare at East Side Tilly, who was ogling them from the vicinity of the gazebo.

"Well, what can I say?" Rory said in a teasing tone, "You're just too irresistible. I couldn't help myself."

"Oh yeah?"

"You'd like that idea, wouldn't you?" Rory said, amused by the smug little smirk on his face.

They stopped in front of the diner. Jess shrugged, and with a glance around, he leaned close to her and whispered conspiratorially, "Speaking of irresistible..." Rory shivered at the feel of his breath against her skin. "What do you say we give these nosy freaks something to really talk about?"

"I say you better kiss me in the next three seconds if you want to live."

His lips brushed against hers, tantalizingly softly, and it drove Rory absolutely wild. Her fingers buried themselves in Jess's hair and she arched herself closer to him, deepening the kiss. But before she could have nearly enough, Jess pulled away and, with a self-satisfied smirk, said, "I'll pick you up a little after six?" Rory nodded, lost for words (not to mention breath and regular heart rhythm), and he walked into the diner.

Suddenly, the thought occurred to her that she only had five hours to get ready. She turned on her heel and sprinted for the Crap Shack as fast as her non-running lifestyle had prepared her to sprint.

* * *

"So they're really getting back together, huh?" Luke asked, slightly incredulous.

Lorelai shrugged. "Sure looked like it."

"Huh."

Her fiancé's smirk didn't pass unnoticed under Lorelai's gaze. "What?" she demanded. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing."

"You had a laughter-like face on. That counts as laughing, especially from you, Mr. Grumpy-Diner-Pants. Why?"

Luke shrugged, grin becoming more pronounced. "I just sort of figured this would happen eventually. Jess never got over her."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Luke said. "He would never talk about it, obviously, 'cause he's him and I'm me, but the kid's been living like a eunuch since he left for California." Lorelai snorted, but Luke's serious expression made her sober quickly. "And sometimes, over the last couple of years when I'd call he'd ask about her, what she was up to, and he just sounded... different."

At that moment, the front door of the Crap Shack burst open and Rory exploded into the house. "Mom! Mom!" she shrieked. "I have a date tonight and we have a wardrobe crisis being born!" Giving Luke a soft kiss and a smile, Lorelai pulled herself away and went to meet her daughter in the kitchen.

"Don't worry, Offspring, Mommy's here to help you..."

Luke continued to grin as the sound of excited female voices drifted through the house.

* * *

Jess was nervous. He hadn't expected to be. He'd thought he'd run through an entire lifetime's-worth of Rory Gilmore-induced nervousness during the first few days they'd been together the first time around. But apparently it was still more than possible for him to work himself into a ridiculous state of fidgety excitement over her. Before he could get himself any more psyched out, he reached out and rang the doorbell.

He could hear Lorelai and Rory speaking to each other in what they probably thought were whispered tones, but which he could hear clearly, and smiled to himself. The bizarre familiarity of the moment soothed his frazzled nerves.

Lorelai wrenched the door open, calling to her daughter over her shoulder, then turned to face Jess. "Hello, hoodlum," she said in a mock-menacing manner. Jess couldn't help but smile when he realized that a few years ago, it would have been the distrust that would have been real and the friendliness would have been feigned. Things really had turned around, and there was something reassuring in that.

"Hey, Lorelai," he said warmly.

She gave him a bizarre look.

"What?" he demanded, more harshly than he had intended due to nerves.

She laughed, clapping delightedly. "That's more like it! Do it again!" she exclaimed. "I was just worried 'cause you were smiling. I thought maybe you were having a stroke."

"Ha ha," he deadpanned.

"Come on in," she said, moving out of the doorway and waving him inside. "Rory, the hoodlum's here!"

"Can you not call me 'hoodlum'?" he asked good-naturedly. "It's demeaning to my ego."

Lorelai gave him a smirk to rival his own. "You realize, now, that you're never going to get me to stop, right? It was bad enough when I was using my mother's insult as a term of endearment, but now that I know it irks you, well..."

"I'll remember that in future," he said dryly, and was about to make a quip about the Dragonfly to pay her back (probably something to do with secluded locales and Norman Bates), but before he could even open his mouth, Rory appeared in the hallway and words failed him. It was too cliché to be believed, but Jess was literally struck dumb by the sight of her. Her curled hair was pulled back from her face, and she was wearing a casual blue sundress that made her eyes stand out like sapphires. She looked stunning.

She gave him a small smile. "Hi," she said quietly.

Struggling to remember how to talk, Jess said, "Hey." It was about all he could manage.

Glancing between them, Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Okay, you two, what do you say we take the lovey-dovey staring contest somewhere else, huh? There are people in the room who just ate." Jess and Rory simultaneously glared at her, but she ignored them and gave her daughter a gentle push towards the door. "See you later, Sweets!" she said. Then, as an afterthought, she called, "And don't forget to use protection!"

Rory made a horrified noise and slammed the door behind them. "Sorry," she said, staring at her feet with her cheeks flaming. "She can be... well, _you_ know how she is."

"Yeah," Jess murmured, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her roughly. After a few moments of passionate kisses, he pulled back, looking into her eyes. "Have I told you yet that you look _incredible_?"

"No," she said, a smug little grin on her face, "But compliments are always appreciated."

He raised his eyebrows, jerking his head to indicate that they should get going. She mock-glared at him for his refusal to cooperate, but the irritated expression faded the instant he took her hand, and he could actually see her breathing grow shallow from the contact. Jess grinned inwardly at his discovery of a new secret weapon to use against her- it seemed that Rory Gilmore was just as distracted by his proximity as he was by hers.

They walked to his car and he opened the door for her, rolling his eyes for good measure. Once they were pulling out of the driveway, she asked, "So, where are we going?"

"There's a place over in Woodbridge I know, they've got pretty good burgers," he said.

"Sounds perfect," Rory replied, smiling at him.

* * *

_Four hours later..._

Rory closed the door of the Crap Shack behind her and leaned back against it, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to try and calm her erratic heartbeat. Somehow, over the intervening years, she had forgotten just how _inflammatory_ Jess's kissing could be. Now, having just experienced a full dose of what he had once termed "his best work," she was hard-pressed to understand how she had managed to forget that feeling.

The date had been amazing. He had taken her to the hole-in-the-wall burger joint which, he explained, he had discovered in his bored ramblings around the Stars Hollow/Woodbridge area, and after they had devoured the best burgers she had ever eaten (well, short of Luke's, because she didn't think it was possible to top Luke's burgers), they had just wandered through the streets of Woodbridge, talking about anything and everything and kissing occasionally. The whole evening had culminated in a rather intense makeout session on the front porch, ending only when Rory forced herself to say goodnight.

Maybe it hadn't been that good when they were teenagers? Back then, he had made her feel more passion than at any time previously in her life, but now, older and more experienced, she could say with absolute certainty that Jess Mariano did things to her she didn't even know existed... and that was strictly in a PG-13 setting. It had been extremely difficult to pull herself away from him; in fact, she was pretty sure the only reason she hadn't just dragged him into the house to ravage him was the knowledge that her mother and his uncle were currently occupying the other bedroom and the thought of having sex (even what she was sure would be fabulous sex) with Jess while her mother was upstairs was just too creepy to contemplate.

Oh yeah, Rory Gilmore was "thinking about it."

* * *

**A/N part deux-** Yeah, as you can see, I chickened out on actually giving the minute details of their date. What can I say? I just kinda suck that way. I realized I'd never get it written if I didn't just cowgirl up and write SOMETHING so... yeah. This is the result.


	13. Homeward Bound

**A/N-** The final chapter is here! Are you sad? I'm sad. This sucks. It's like the end of an era. My first really lengthy attempt at a Lit-fic is coming to an end. But never fear, this gives me more time to work on PM and Kismet! And eventually there will be a sequel! But I'm bad about getting around to sequels, so it could be awhile. I want to wrap up one or more of my current fics before I do that. Maybe plan on a sequel summer of 2011. Sounds like a long time from now, right?

**I'd like to thank** luvtheheaven for her general awesomeness, and for how much incredible support she gave me during the writing of this story, whether she knows it or not. If you guys haven't checked out the trailer she made for this story yet... well, you seriously need to! There's a link in my profile. Thanks, girl, you gave me the inspiration to keep this going right up to the end!

**Also, for those of you who don't live Stateside and may or may not know**: Now, I don't know how much all of you who aren't from the US of A know about American history, but I'm guessing about as much as I know about your countries' histories (meaning, not all that much). So the reason the 4th of July in Philly is a big deal is, basically, that's where the Declaration of Independence was signed on the 4th of July, 1776. Basically, where the whole idea of the United States started. Been in Philly for 04/07 myself, and it's really, really cool. Fireworks like you've never seen outside of Disneyworld and China...!

* * *

_Jess isn't really paying attention to the road. Nor is he listening to the Velvet Underground song blasting from his stereo. He's driving on autopilot, thinking over the events of the last few days..._

_

* * *

_

They had spent the better part of three days together while the diner was being fixed. He had spent most of each day helping Luke and the abominable TJ repair the front wall of the diner, and Rory had frequented Luke's as a result. Once, she had attempted to help them. One hammer-smashed thumb and a string of words Jess hadn't even realized Rory knew later, that plan had immediately been revised to something more along the lines of the three men continuing to work and Rory watching and keeping them entertained with her chatter. Once he had finished up the day's labor, Jess and Rory had spent their evenings together.

On the first night after they had officially rekindled their relationship, she had wheedled him into getting takeout from Al's and spent the evening in the apartment above the diner, talking for hours about music and literature and current events and how irritating it was when teenage girls wore microscopic shorts (the fact that he had agreed with her was apparently surprising). She had mocked him for registering green party, which led to a rather heated political debate ending in Rory's surrender (though both of them knew neither had managed to convince the other on any point).

The second evening, Jess had felt mischievous and suggested that they read in the gazebo, rather than the more isolated bridge, with the intent to get the town talking (more than they already were). As private a person as he was, he couldn't really help it. He wanted to brag a little, show off that he'd finally gotten the girl. Besides, he had long ago made it his mission to stir up as much commotion in Stars Hollow as possible, and it seemed like high time he continued toward that objective.

As a result, "reading" had quickly turned into "making out" which had, after some minutes, turned into Taylor marching up to them and interrupting the moment, claiming it was a disturbance of the peace and that if Jess had any common decency whatsoever, he would conduct "such matters" in a more private venue. Rory had had a very difficult time preventing herself from laughing out loud, turning scarlet trying to hold in her giggles until they had retreated to the bridge after all.

Last night, he had joined Luke, Lorelai and Rory for a traditional Gilmore-style movie night, complete with Red Vines, popcorn, and more pizza than they knew what to do with. Lorelai had apparently pulled out all the stops, with the odd lineup of _The Breakfast Club_, _Stage Door_, _Rebel Without A Cause_ (at the start of which, the elder Gilmore shot him a significant look, which he studiously ignored) and _The Adventures of Baron Munchausen._

The evening had concluded with a snoring Luke passed out in the armchair, completely ignorant of Lorelai sitting on his lap while the credits on the final movie rolled. Rory, meanwhile, was cuddled up in his arms, her head resting on his chest. Jess had dared to imagine that life couldn't possibly get better than this.

* * *

_But of course, all good things have to come to an end. Jess' grip tightens on the steering wheel and he closes his eyes for a brief second, suppressing a sigh. This morning, the ringing of the phone followed by Matthew's shrill demands on when he was coming back to work brought him back to reality. Still... it was good while it lasted._

_He's taking awhile to adjust to the idea that he actually gets to have what he's wanted for so long. But he can still taste the goodbye he exchanged with Rory this morning on his lips and, incredibly, he knows that it's real._

_

* * *

_"I'll miss you," Rory said, hugging him tightly. Her words were muffled against his chest, but Jess heard her anyway.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," he told her, kissing the top of her head.

She sighed. "It shouldn't be this hard, should it? I mean, we've been out of contact for years before."

Jess shrugged. "It's different now, though."

Rory nodded. "I guess it is." She looked up at him, studying his face for a moment before kissing him softly.

"What are your plans this summer?" he asked, pulling back.

"I've got an internship at a Hartford paper for the rest of June," she said, "But that ends the second of July." Her lips twitched upward in a knowing smile. "Why? What were you thinking?"

"Well, you know, the Fourth of July in Philadelphia is really something else," Jess said, fighting hard not to grin. "And I know how you love to try new things..."

"Are you suggesting that I come and visit you?" Rory asked coyly.

"I think I was," Jess said. "You could come and stay for a few weeks with me- and, unfortunately, my dippy roommates, but they'll clear out if I glare at them long enough."

"I think that sounds like an excellent idea, Mr. Mariano," she told him, smiling.

Grin. Battle lost.

"Well then, I look forward to it, Miss Gilmore," he said.

Then her face fell. "July's a long way away," she said sadly.

"Just three weeks," he assured her. "Until then, I'll call you. Promise. And Chris' laptop has that weird video-conferencing thing on it, so if I can pry the thing away from him for more than ten seconds, maybe we can give that a try."

A small, wavering smile crossed Rory's face again. "That would be good," she said. "I like seeing you."

"Oh yeah?"

She shrugged, feigning dismissiveness. "Well, you're nice to look at," she said in an offhand tone.

Jess chuckled low in his throat and surrendered to the temptation to kiss her smirking mouth...

* * *

_All in all, an extremely successful visit to the Hollow, he thinks wryly as he spies the exit for Philadelphia. Still, the goodbye _was_ hard. Thinking back, he can't actually remember if he said the word or not. He's never been great at goodbyes, especially when it's her. _

_There were other words he wanted to say. They were on the tip of his tongue after their final goodbye kiss, words he's only said once before and meant anything by it. Three little words. Except he won't say that. Not yet. He knows her; she's not ready to hear that, not from him, not yet. No matter how long he's been carrying this explosive, impossible feeling around inside of him, she doesn't need to know that yet._

_Besides, it would be nice to hear it back this time._

_Of course, he thinks to himself with a small, happy smile flitting across his lips, in just three weeks she's going to be on her way to visit him. Perhaps sometime in the month she's planning on spending in Philadelphia, he'll find a good time to have that conversation..._

_FINIS_


End file.
